Potential - Noun: Latent qualities or abilities that may be developed and lead to future success or usefulness. When I think of my desire to get well, the idea of being "cured" has never been my emphasis. Would it be amazing if one day we are all completely free of fibromyalgia? Absolutely! But in my quest to live better, I have never focused on a cure as my destination. Instead of focusing on a cure - something I cannot control, I have tried to focus on my potential for living better in each moment - something I can control, and on building momentum during the good moments and minimizing the … [Read more...]
Community is Everything
It's been one of those weeks. One of those weeks when all I have wanted to do is shut myself up in my room and lose myself in books, movies, and God willing, some good sleep. It is my (and I am sure most of our) default position to "retreat" and isolate when I am feeling bad. And it is a desire I have given in to many times throughout my illness. But I have noticed something. I have noticed that by staying present and showing up for my life and my responsibilities, I am frequently rewarded with beautiful distractions from the symptoms that would otherwise consume me. This has been an … [Read more...]
Pain is Part of the Process
Today is a day of recovery for me. Most people do not attend a restful and healthful three day yoga retreat and then come home to recover, but such is the nature of life with chronic illness. Yet I will welcome this time of recovery over and over again if it means I can continue on this path to wellness. I have learned many things so far on my path, and the one lesson that appears repeatedly is that this is a process. Healing takes time, and although I am caring for myself better than I ever have, there is still an unpredictable nature to fibromyalgia I cannot avoid. Setbacks, sidesteps, and … [Read more...]
When Food is Not Medicine
There is some debate among patients of chronic illness whether nutrition is a contributing factor to our illness. I can only speak to my truth on this matter, and for myself it is an emphatic yes. When I think back to the days after both traumas - the first that triggered my fibromyalgia and the second that exacerbated my symptoms - I clearly see that my eating behaviors contributed to my dis-ease. Before the first head trauma I had what I consider healthy eating habits. But as soon as I became couch-ridden, trying to recover my ability to speak coherently, I turned to food as a source of … [Read more...]
Passing the Invisible Boundary
If one advances confidently in the direction of their dream, endeavoring to live the life they are imagining, he will put somethings behind. He will pass the invisible boundary. ~Emerson I dream of being whole. I dream of healing. I dream of living with passion and with purpose and without pain. I am not there yet, but I am headed confidently in that direction. After one month of yoga teacher training, I am certain I am on the right path. In this short time I have learned that although suffering exists, so too does happiness, and I have the ability to nurture my happiness, which in turn … [Read more...]