Potential – Noun: Latent qualities or abilities that may be developed and lead to future success or usefulness.
When I think of my desire to get well, the idea of being “cured” has never been my emphasis. Would it be amazing if one day we are all completely free of fibromyalgia? Absolutely! But in my quest to live better, I have never focused on a cure as my destination. Instead of focusing on a cure – something I cannot control, I have tried to focus on my potential for living better in each moment – something I can control, and on building momentum during the good moments and minimizing the bad. It is a formula that often works, and continues to encourage me to keep trying, even if it means I sometimes fail and fibromyalgia wins.
In our frustration with the many debilitating symptoms and lifestyle disruptions of FM, we often look for (and hope for) the quick fix. Who can blame us? But if there is one thing I can share today to encourage and inspire those of you trying to make sense of the misery of FM, it is this – focus on the things you can control, and let go of your attachment to the things you cannot. Be realistic. Understand that you can live better and that you do have a measurable amount of control over your symptoms.
Small changes can really add up to decreased symptoms and a better quality of life.
By being present and focusing on the variables you can control, you are doing the very best for yourself. Minimizing stress, eliminating sugar and gluten, exercising, etc. will not cure you of FM, but they will help reduce your symptoms and increase your quality of life. It is just a fact. A life with chronic illness is still a life full of potential and possibility, but we have a part to play to reach that potential.
Frida turned her pain into her passion.
The great Mexican artist and revolutionary Frida Khalo lived her life of chronic illness with passion and vigor – painting many masterpieces along the way. I am no Frida, but I certainly have a lot to live passionately for. Fibromyalgia or not, my life has purpose and I intend to continue focusing on the possibilities rather than the pain. And I know I am not alone. There are many of you who feel the same, so for you, this is just a gentle reminder of your potential.
And for those of you who need a little more encouragement I offer this:
Start small. Change happens slowly. This is an uphill battle we are all facing, but each baby-step takes us closer to where it is we want to be – as long as we have a realistic view of our destination. The path is bumpy, and dusty, and there are many obstacles – and even some booby traps – but with dedication and determination, it is passable.
Celebrate and build on the little victories. Again, this means you must have realistic expectations. Maybe you start walking 5-10 minutes a day. And 4 out of 7 days you do so relatively pain free. Yes! Definitely worthy of a celebration. Sometimes you will not see the results of your efforts immediately, but just know that your efforts are having an effect, and that change is happening. This is why it is so important to stay encouraged, because our bodies give us many reasons to be discouraged. Chose to focus on the potential, not the pain.
Understand that even with improvement, the bad days will still come. This does not mean that all of the good work you have been doing is lost. It does not mean that you should be discouraged and give up. It is simply a fact of a life with chronic illness – one of the facts we cannot change, so slow down, accept the setback, and prepare yourself to move forward again once you are able. Fibromyalgia is not a static condition. It changes and fluctuates constantly. Know that no matter how bad you are feeling in any particular moment, there are better moments ahead. Pain of today does not reduce your potential for tomorrow.
Today being National Fibromyalgia Day I was looking for the right words to say don’t let fibromyalgia rule your life. I came across this article and could not have said it better. Thank you so much for getting the word out that we don’t have to let fibro control us.
Thank you Carolyn. I believe strongly that, just as you said, we don’t have to let our illness control us. It is so empowering when we take back control over what we can manage. Keep on keeping on!
I also feel our life can have meaning and we can overcome the pain. It is satisfying to get out of bed anyway and go on with your life.
I was diagnosed in 1995, and after several years of futile treatments of various kinds, made the decision to live my life as if the fibro did not exist. I “work around” it, fitting in those interventions that work for me. I know that at this time there is no “cure” since, like cancer, fibro is a multifactorial illness. We don’t know all the causative factors. I work full time in a nursing management job, have a family, volunteer in my church, go to the gym etc. Is this always easy? heck no, and I hurt a lot. But I know I need decent sleep, a good high protein low calorie diet (a normal body weight is very important for fibro folks) and a decision not to whine or feel sorry for yourself. You may have fibro, but it does not have you!!!
Claire your determination is something! When I learn of people like you who are able to function at a relatively high level – despite their illness – I know a lot of it comes from will and mindset. There is definitely a strong mind-body connection when it comes to chronic illness. And no, having a good attitude or great determination will not cure you, but it does help us in our daily battles. Thanks for sharing your story. My best to you!
One wonderful thing unlike cancer it is not fatal.
Thanks, so much. These articles inspired me, At first when I was diagnosed (Early september 2010) I thought this was the end of my life, I was only 12 years old! How was I going to play my softball? And continue writing my blog?I thought that I would never be a normal girl. But the point is that this can and will not control my life, it may be difficult living in constant pain. But then I realized, I was just diagnosed in spetember but I have lived with this condition for about 3 years now. So This just brought back my reason for living. And I know I’m in the perfect place to be treated. Because of who Treats me, I am treated by one of the best in the FM department, Adam finley, Jill chorney, Michale sangster, and… My nurse paula. they work for the child pain team at the IWK health center in halifax nova scotia canada. I know I will never be cured, But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I’m just not there yet. So once again, thanks so much. your articles brought a smile to a little 12 year old girl today. 🙂
Pain can affect a romantic relationship. (go here: http://www.examiner.com/african-american-relationships-in-chicago/loving-the-sick-do-you-stay-or-do-you-go)
Sometimes men aren’t as understanding as they should be and a woman too, can be downright self-centered. I think people should walk into relationships with their eyes wide open. No one likes being alone.
Some feel it is best not to reveal they have a chronic illness. I dunno. Please comment on site. This qualifies as a national discussion!
btw: my friend has MS and she keeps it hush-hush. she thinks it’s best.
Do you know about Fibro Bloggers Directory?
http://fibrobloggerdirectory.blogspot.com/
This is a great post! I go to physical therapy twice a week for fibro. and other issues and my PT was just reminding me yesterday that while she doesn’t want fibro. to be my identity, she also wants me to take care of myself. I have a tendency to pretend that I can anything that anyone else can do and it gets me in trouble. I was diagnosed Sept. 2010 and it has been challenging learning how to LIVE with this illness and not let it take over! Thanks for this post:)
you said: “I have tried to focus on my potential for living better in each moment” and i wholeheartedly agree.
when i lose sight of that focus is when this whole thing starts to feel really overwhelming.
my husband moved out 20 days ago – which ness. my going on tanf(welfare) and they require 4 hours daily of job searching activities and a daily trip into their office to turn in paperwork. – after all that some days i’m done for but i figure the good part to that is i will hopefully find a job all the quicker for such focused searching.
I have been recently diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I was in a coma for a few months and once out. The pain all over my body started. For at least a year, I associated it with my other health issues which are severe. After a year, I noticed the pain and stiffness getting worse, not better. And I did not think at this point it was related. After almost another year of dr.’s, I was just diagnosed last week. When I researched, it made perfect sense. I have every symptom including the thyroid problems. I was extremely healthy before. Been at my job for 30 yrs. Barely ever did I have a sick day. I am in sales and travel the world and domestically. The last two years, each day is so difficult for me. I wake up each morning (after very little sleep) and pray to make it through the day. Traveling has become my nightmare.
This was a great article. My e-mail address is here peggymcg5564@yahoo.com. Anybody who has some advice for a beginner first dealing with this disease would be greatly appreciated. Be ause of my other health issues, I am unable to take some of the typical drugs such as Lyrica.
People in chronic severe constant pain do not need unattainable goals…to feel worse about not living up to their potential. I usually feel terrible how my pains limit my potential and these articles do not help. I then go read this poor woman’s story…art was an outlet for her physical pain. She thought of suicide. She turned to alcohol. Had to use large doses morphine. She was confined to bed…took 4 more opiates than ordered & died of a blood clot from immobility and pneumonia at 37. I am not getting a lot of real inspiration only real world realism.