I am distraught today over an email I received from a member of my support group. Here is where my writing about this gets sticky. How much can I share and still honor her privacy?
I guess I can just say that she is someone I reached out to individually because she was interested in getting involved in something I am doing and reaping great health benefits from, and now the whole thing has blown up in my face. I am just stunned at how my support and good intentions are now being twisted into such ugliness. It goes back to The Law of Detatchment and the lesson I learned there – “Today I will commit myself to detachment. I will allow myself and those around me the freedom to be as they are. I will not ridgidly impose my idea of how things should be. I will not force solutions on problems, thereby creating new problems. I will participate in everything with detached involvement.”
Basically what it all boils down to is I tried to help someone before she was ready to face or accept any changes that would be required of her to take control of her health. She is not ready, and I am perfectly okay with that. I did not and do not judge her, I just let her know that the opportunity is still available to her and that I would gladly go with her (and I am just talking about going to a holistic chiropractor, nothing too scary) to help alleviate her anxiety.
Now I am being accused of not showing her understanding or compassion and of pushing her away. Really the email blind-sided me and blew me away! And this was my favorite line – “Just remember I and many others have FMS and cannot predict how we will feel on certain days.” Okay, really, because I was not aware of that! Seriously, I guess I am a little mad. Now I am pondering how to respond to her, realizing full well that she possibly could read this post before I reply to her email. I am mad and offended. I did miss a call from her one day, and because I did I gave her my private cell number for her to reach me and even that offended her. I am starting to think I just cannot win with her.
But then what does that mean for her future with the support group? She has really enjoyed and benefited from each meeting she has attended and I would hate for her to lose that over a misunderstanding, but I am at a loss of how to salvage this relationship. The last email I sent her was so positive and encouraging and yet she still thinks I am pushing her away. I get the feeling she is projecting a lot of personal stuff onto me, and I am not sure I can reason with her. I am not sure I have the energy to reason with her, because remember, I have Fibromyalgia “and cannot predict how I will feel on certain days.”
I have had members join and leave the group because it was not a good fit for them, and I am fine with that. I have never had issues with a participating member though, so I am at a loss. I know I cannot be all things to all people and still honor my own health, but my every intention toward her was pure, and my head is spinning over her reaction. What to do? What to do? At this point, I really have no idea what I am going to do.