I have been thinking a lot lately about language, and about how our thoughts and words influence our beliefs and actions.
If I say “I am in a lot of pain today,” does that influence the way I deal with my pain that day? I think it does. Pain is not a static mass. Sit quietly and pay close attention to your pain. It moves, it fluctuates, it varies. Now if I state to myself or out loud that I am in a lot of pain, I may not allow myself the awareness to focus on and appreciate the moments when the pain is less.
Sometimes I will find that I am in a good frame of mind – despite whatever symptoms are nagging at me – and someone will ask me how I am doing. I know they are asking how my symptoms are that day, so instead of focusing on why I am feeling good in spite of it all, I focus on what is nagging at me and will respond with something like, “Okay but a little fatigued today.” What a wasted moment. I missed the opportunity to build on my positive state of mind, and all of a sudden I am more focused on how tired I am!
Language influences our thoughts and feelings.
If instead I say, “I am doing pretty good today,” then that becomes the emphasis of my immediate reality. I am doing pretty good!
Pain is real. The pain of fibromyalgia is a reality we are all too familiar with. I am not advocating we ignore it, or pretend it is not there. I am just suggesting that we think and talk about it in a different way. Instead of declaring, “I am in a lot of pain today,” maybe I could change my language to focus on the positive; “My head feels clear and focused today. I think I will write a blog post!”
Let your language help you to find the joy in even the bleakest moments. Find a positive to focus on and state it out loud. Make it your reality.
I am not happy in spite of my pain. I am just happy.
I had an experience of this just yesterday.
I was doing some yoga and movement, as I do every day, and I had this thought: “I no longer believe in my pain body.”
As you say, the pain is real, so I didn’t quite understand what I was telling myself.
I am now thinking my point (to me! — ha!) was that I will no longer feed the pain by identifying with it.
My body is so much MORE. Strong body. Flexible body. Graceful body. Creative body. DANCER BODY.
🙂
WOW
I just wanna be like that. Great spirit . Keep going 🙂
What a very true statement that is, I have always said” we start the day out and where it goes from there is up to our choice.” It can start out bad and turn good because we decide to make it good. `Or we can decide to have a bad day. Everyone needs to focus on the positives in our lives. This makes them more of a reality to us.
A day with less pain is rare but when you think about that pain over all else you have let the pain win. If you do one thing that brings you happiness the pain is lessened. So I choose to hold my grandchild, or to go for a walk. Fill blessed that if I can do just one thing the day is brighter.
Thank you for the “positive” reminder!
Wonderful post, thank you!!
“I am not happy in spite of my pain. I am just happy” is good! If you were happy because of your pain that would make it a little weird.
But seriously…the “ah-ha moment” of learning the difference between suffering and pain was a big one for me. And how you talk about your pain (or don’t) influences your perceived suffering. Thank you for the reminder.
I remember back when I used to work, my coworkers would ask how I was feeling and the answer would always be, no matter how I felt, “just peachy!” It was my (as usual) sarcastic way of dealing with the situation. Honestly, unless they really needed to know that I was having a problem remembering which end of the pen I used to write with, why tell ’em? I didn’t realize that I was doing myself a favor by not dwelling on my pain, but I guess I was.
Body language, too, plays a roll. Smile, dammit!
Spot on blogpost! Love the thoughts, concepts and clear rationale that led you to your hypothesis. All completely accurate!
Very important concept! The book of Proverbs (23:7) says, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.“ We do need to acknowledge our limits, but we do not need to focus on our limits or our pain. It is much healthier to focus on what we can do than on what we can’t do.
Amen. Well said my sister
Thanks Evelyn!
I needed to read that today… in a really bad flare and it’s difficult to answer the “how are you feeling” question all the time when in constant pain like this. Thanks for the reminder.
Great post!
I am glad this post helped you and can only hope that your flare ends soon. In the midst of the pain, it is often hard to remember that there will be better – even good – days ahead. But that is why we have created this cool online & blogging community – to inspire and encourage each other. I know you do the same at your blog!
I’m a new reader here and just want to tell you how much I like the emphasis of your recent posts. I really appreciate the insight on how focusing on the pain “I may not allow myself the awareness to focus on and appreciate the moments when the pain is less.” Thanks every so much.
Thank you Sandra Lee. I too am very pleased with my current state of mind, and the healing path I am on. It is a real treat to share my journey here and interact with people like you. If you did not take the time to comment, I may never have discovered your very inspirational blog. I have just begun to read your content, but I know you are going to be an great resource for me. Thank You!
My apologizes to everyone who posted a comment that was just approved today. I am not sure what happened. There were no comments pending – and then today there were seven dated May 4th & 5th! Thank you all for your thoughtful and encouraging comments. Sorry they were in limbo for two weeks!
Thank you for the positives. Living with and chronic illness is down turning. If we can *get up and out of the darkness, using positive thinking and distraction or any tool to help. It is a wonderful thing. Good article, thank you again….Nancy
Nancy positive thinking is very powerful. Even if we do not always maintain it – we are human after all and need to experience the bad to appreciate the good. But I believe the more we work to be positive, the easier it is to do naturally, and the better we become at handling the inevitable “bad” that is part of living.
Wonderful post, thank you!!
You are very welcome Emily. Thank you for taking the time to comment. It is very appreciated.
I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia four years ago, and I have been struggling daily just to get out of bed and go about my day. The treatments in the book “Beat Sugar Addiction Now!” by Dr. Jacob Teitelbaum (http://endfatigue.com/) have made a huge difference in my life. I am not cured, but my symptoms are much less and I have a lot less aching and less pain……….I feel that the SHINE protocol which is described in detail here has made such a huge improvement in my quality of life. I was surprised to see thatt he author had suffered with this same condition and had used the treatments he describes here to treat himself and to get himself well enough to complete medical school and live a good life. Knowing that he has been where I have been makes all the difference as far as I am concerned. Dr. T is one of the foremost experts on Fibromyalgia and CFS in the country – be sure to follow him on Twitter: http://twitter.com/DrJTeitelbaum
This is a great post!! The way we speak to ourselves really does make a difference in how we feel weather or not we are healthy or struggling with a chronic condition. When I put my focus on something besides myself and my pain more times than not I can move through it and at least have a functional day. Don’t get me wrong….there are some really bad days, but when I am successful in putting my focus on something besides my pain it does make for a better day!!!
Blessings to all who struggle with this chronic condition!! 🙂
And blessings to you too Debbie! Your comment demonstrates perfectly what I had in mind when writing this post. Adopting a self-loving language is a beautiful thing. Even on the inevitable “really bad” days, we can reinforce our strength and commitment to better days with loving language. Your ability to redirect your focus to something enjoyable is a gift you give yourself. Now that is a blessing!
I find most times when people ask how your doing they really don’t want to know so I always respond with I’m hanging in there. This for me covers the good and bad days without bring me down, and without having to explain to anyone who really doesn’t want or need to know.
“I’m hanging in there” is a great way to respond Marie. It does not require further explanation, but it does leave room for discussion. It is also a reply showing strength and determination. Neither positive nor negative. I like it!
I agree totally with this…I believe that we all must stay positive, surround ourselves with positiveness, whether it be people, self-help books, or favorite games to play, especially when we are not feeling well! I love all of my fellow fibro sufferers, because in my eyes we are all in this war together and one day we will CONQUER!!! MUCH LOVE AND PEACE! ♥♥♥
Find Your Haven- When life gets stormy, feel safe in the knowledge that the soul can not be touched by external forces. Like a ship finding shelter in a haven, take refuge in your soul when things feel unsettled.
Reference
George, Mike. 1001 Meditations: How to discover peace of mind. (c) 2004 by Duncan Baird Publishers
Beautiful! Thank you Crystal. Another book to add to my long list of “must reads.”