Wow! Last week was bad. Hell really. One of my most intense flare-ups I have had in a while; the kind of pain and fatigue that literally distorts your facial features. The few times I bothered to look in the mirror last week and take inventory, I was amazed at how awful the stranger peering back at me looked. It was a really long week. It was nothing new. We have all been there. We will all be there again. Then why, each time I suffer that severe of a flare, does it all seem so desperate and unending?
Fibromyalgia is such a bitch! Just go back and read my last post written on a good day when I was feeling lucky and supported. How dramatically different is this post. Don’t get me wrong. It is not that I am all of a sudden sad and hopeless, I am just once again humbled by the overwhelming nature of Fibromyalgia. I was just given a very firm and intense reminder of the unpredictable and debilitating status of my health.
Today is a new day, the start of a new week. The mirror is kinder and gentler today. Everything in my life that was put on hold last week is still here this week. My blog! Oh how I miss my blog on the days I am down and out. It is my lifeline. Those of you who left comments – even though I did not reply to them, they really helped me feel connected during my flare – THANK YOU!
So, now to regain my momentum. First thing, now that my brain is starting to function again, is to make a list of all the things I want to accomplish. Second, remind myself to take it day by day. No pressure, just keep moving forward and progress will happen. Third, honor my limits. It is so easy once you get on the good side of a flare up to try and make up for all the time lost. I am not going to do that. That time is gone, I cannot get it back, and trying to would only stress my body and possibly send me back in to a dark hole like last week.
Lastly, I am going to remind myself that I am so much more than my pain and fatigue. It is a part of who I am, not all I am. Fibromyalgia took last week away from me, but this is a new week. I will continue to work towards progress in all areas of my life, because yes, even though my blog is all about Fibromyalgia, my life is not. Seems weird that I have to remind myself of that, but then if you have ever been through a flare, you know exactly what I mean.