Dear Friends,

I am pleased to announce that the Fibromyalgia Wellness Project is now up and running and ready to receive participants. This is a research project sponsored by the National Institute of Arthritis, Musculoskeletal and Skin diseases, National Institutes of Health. Its purpose is to evaluate a new web-based self-management program that aims to help people with FM discover ways to reduce symptoms and improve health through a completely personalized self-monitoring approach that takes no more than 5 to 10 minutes per day.

In using this program you will create your own personal database of symptom patterns and self-management strategies that will be analyzed by the project’s proprietary analytical methods. After sufficient use (depending on how frequently you use it–we recommend at least four times per week), the program will provide you with personalized feedback about strategies that lead to reduced symptoms for you. The feedback you receive will be derived from your own personal inputs over time, which is why your on-going participation over several weeks is needed. This allows you to experiment with different strategies and lifestyle changes (e.g., bed times, meal times, self-help practices, exercise, stresses, herbs, supplements, medications, and more) to find out what works best for you.

Please go to http://www.fmwellness.org/index.htm to learn about the project and sign up.

We will be continuing to upgrade and refine the site in the coming months. I hope you find the project beneficial, and welcome your participation.

Best regards,
William Collinge, PhD, MPH
Principal Investigator
The Fibromyalgia Wellness Project
http:www.fmwellness.org

It was several years ago now that my therapist tried to help me resolve my physical pain by dealing with my suppressed emotions. Ironically, her recommendation to me was to write. She believed that through the process of writing, my muscles would begin to let go of everything they had been storing. Unfortunately I did not get very far with her. Maybe I was not ready to hear her and understand then. Maybe the time was not right. But today as I sit here writing about it, I am so much more aware and accepting of where she was trying to guide me.

My muscles are full of emotions I have spent the last 40 years avoiding.

The pain is stored there because that is how I unconsciously chose to process it. I stuffed it deep down inside to avoid facing it, but it doesn’t just disappear, it simply manifests itself into a different kind of pain.

My muscles are inflamed and toxic because I did not have the skills to manage and deal with the crisis in the moment. Who does have the skills? They are not easy to acquire. I still do not have them, but I am working towards it. It may take me the next 40 years, but at least I am now aware.

Healing is not a simple process.

First we must really come to terms with the source of our pain. For the purpose of this post I am focusing on emotional pain, but as we all know there are many other components to our pain (trauma, infection, toxin, etc.) that make this process even more complicated.

So where do we start?

Again, there is no easy answer. Years ago I started in the most logical place, therapy, and yet it turned out not to be my actual starting point. I had years of stagnant suffering after that, waiting for my health to change, but not actively making the changes necessary for my health to improve.

Looking back on it now, I am learning from my time spent in therapy, but it made little difference in my life at the time.

My true starting point in understanding how my emotions have contributed to my pain is this blog. Writing here has allowed me to explore and examine myself in ways I never would have otherwise. It has allowed me to acquire new tools and resources to actively apply to my intention of wellness.

What does that mean?

Well it means I am no longer sitting on my couch with a tub of mashed potatoes, convincing myself that my misery entitles me to eat it. And it means that I am no longer waiting for better health to find me, I am actively seeking it out. And it means I am no longer discouraged by the many set backs, because I understand it took years for this damage to occur in my body, and it will take years for me to correct everything, but each step I take towards healing tips the balance to the path of wellness and a better life.

For me, the tools and resources I have acquired to deal with emotional pain are writing, yoga, and meditation. The combination of the three have given me a greater awareness of the mind-body connection, which I believe is essential for healing our emotional pain.

Yoga and meditation teach you to connect with and examine your body, scanning for places of tension and pain. They teach you to acknowledge and breathe into those places, and not ignore what you are storing there. It has been an amazing process of self-discovery, and both practices often leave me more emotional but less painful.

Writing is where I come to process everything. This is where I put the piece together and try to make sense of them. Without this blog, I am certain I would still be waiting for my health to change.

So how can you take what I have learned and apply it to your own path to wellness?

First, you have to be ready to take your journey. You have to be ready to do the work and the research to find the best tools and resources for you. Then you have to understand that it is a journey of endurance and not be discouraged by the inevitable setbacks. You have to believe that you are worth the effort and that better health is possible.

If you are not there yet, like I wasn’t not that long ago, keep reading, keep researching, don’t give up. Never give up! Better health is possible. Once you believe it is, your journey will begin.

I spent my twenties in a haze of parties and adventure. Oh the fun I had! I paid for that fun in my thirties. My thirties have been a decade of pain and frustration. After developing Fibromyalgia in my late twenties, I spent most of my thirties a slave to my symptoms.

But that is all changing. It started with this blog, and all the research I do to stay informed and up to date. Knowledge is power I tell you. I am learning more and more that I can feel better, and that there are things I can do to take back a measurable amount of control over my health. These are all resources and tips I have shared with you in the hundred plus posts I have written. I try very hard to practice what I preach, and the more I do, the better I feel.

So bring on forty. Forty is going to be my decade for health and healing, for wealth and wellness. I am ready for forty!

Pardon me while I spend this week celebrating. I have many things I want to share with you – like the great support group meeting I had last week attended by Lynne Matallana of the National Fibromyalgia Association. What a treat that was! But I am not going to be sitting in front of my computer too much this week. Instead I am going to be practicing yoga and meditation, going to lunch with family and friends, getting pedicures with my big sis, and honoring my health as much as possible to prepare for this next decade.

I am so looking forward to what forty will bring, and I am grateful to have this space and all of you to share it with. You are a gift I treasure each day. Thank you for taking the time to read what I write and occasionally leave a comment when the mood strikes. I appreciate you more than you know!

Happy Birthday to me!

Man I have a lot going on right now – a lot of good things going on right now. I have teased in the past that I am working towards bigger and better things for FibroHaven. I want this to be more than just a blog where I come to relieve my tension, share my experiences, and hopefully educate and entertain you. I want this blog to be the foundation for a whole infrastructure of community, heath, and wellness, which we are all so hopefully pursuing. And I am working on it.

To that end, I am finding that each day I have more and more on my plate. Today for example, this is what I am hoping to accomplish:

To-Do List

• write two blog posts
• read the assignment and complete homework for business class I am taking
• email back the 14 people who are waiting so patiently for my response
• prepare for meeting tonight to cover progress of FibroHaven launch
• confirm details with guest presenter for support group meeting on Wednesday
• schedule August meetings for FibroHaven support group

Whew!

Now mind you, todays list is this long because I accomplished nothing productive over the weekend – except having a great bbq with my family and catching up on some movies I have wanted to see – but nothing that would make my “to-do” list more palatable.

So when I found the image above, I thought it was a great reminder for me. Yes, I am “chewing” a lot right now, but like that yummy strawberry the tortoise is so happily munching on, it is all good for me. Everything I am working on and working towards will not only enrich my life, but it will also enrich everyone who becomes a part of my vision for FibroHaven – one great big community where we all share, and support, and connect, and explore. A community where no one feels isolated or alone. A community where when you are in the middle of the storm that is life, you can retreat to for a little shelter and protection – a Haven!

It may not be the most organized haven, and it may sometimes progress like the tortoise instead of the hare, but it will be a haven none-the-less. Our Haven! And the great thing is you all understand. You all get it. I didn’t need to get on here today and apologize for anything. I just came on here to share. Because I can. Because I know you will understand and you will listen. That is what I am working hard to develop – a place where we can all go when we need a little understanding.

Note to self: write two one blog post.

Ever notice when you are sitting at the beach, or walking through a forest you feel more relaxed, more connected, more observant? Even simply gazing out a window onto a garden or nature setting is calming and soothing. Nature’s healing power is undeniable.

I am blessed to live in North San Diego County. There is a great energy and spirit here – magical really. It is hard to explain, but the land and the community seem to promote health and wellness. Just two miles from my front door is a beautiful lagoon and nature preserve Batiquitos Lagoon. I have lived in this neighborhood for over a year, but just recently began walking the serene nature path along the lagoon’s edge. What took me so long?

Walking is good for me. Right?

As we all know, walking, while it is touted as something we should all be doing, can often cause as severe a flare as high-impact activity. While yoga has become my new go-to exercise, I have shied away from walking very much because it is more problematic for me. But there are so many things about the lagoon trail that make it perfect for me, and now I look forward to walking it as frequently as possible.

The trail itself is a flat, easy, two mile walk one way. The lagoon is just off the ocean so even in the hottest time of the day there is a cooling breeze, and much of the trail is shaded by giant Eucalyptus trees. And if that were not comfortable and inviting enough, every tenth of a mile or so, there is a strategically placed bench welcoming trail enthusiasts to have a seat and take in the serene surroundings.

From Great Blue Heron, to the endangered Least Turns, there are birds a plenty to watch flying overhead or feeding along the shoreline. I have no idea what crazy kind of fish are in the lagoon, but it is impossible not to see them leaping up out of the water, taunting pelicans with their acrobatics. The habitat is beautiful and diverse. My favorite is the gigantic, pre-historic looking sago palms – 30-40 feet in height, I can just imagine what lives amid their great fronds.

I love the the Batiquitos Lagoon!

It is my new meditation spot and happy place. Serenity finds me each time I am there. I have walked more in the past month then I did all year, and for the most part, flare-free. What more could I ask for?

Plus, did I mention? Finley loves it too.