Healing from chronic illness is so much more complicated than just treating the symptoms. Prescription meds may help us cope, but they do not correct the original imbalances that led to dis-ease. And with difficult-to-understand illnesses like fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome, it is not always possible to pinpoint just one specific cause. Often it is a series of causes like a traumatic event experienced while in the midsts of some other type of recurring life stressors. There are many different types of traumas that can lead to chronic illness – physical, emotional, viral, environmental. With so many possible factors, it is easy to see why treatment is so difficult.

Knowing your trigger.

When putting together my blueprint, it was easy for me to pinpoint the exact moment when my trigger was switched – the day I broke the porcelain toilet with my head. Yes, I would definitely say that qualifies as a trigger. And the immediate downward spiral of my health from that day on is a clear indicator that the physical trauma opened the door to chronic illness. So I can with confidence say that my trigger was physical. That is the easy part. But what I must also consider is how my lifestyle leading up to the trauma left me predisposed to developing chronic illness.

Not everyone who suffers a debilitation head trauma ends up with fibromyalgia.

The concussion and brain trauma that resulted were expected outcomes to the physical trauma, but the pain and fatigue that increased daily were not. So why did I end up with fibromyalgia after the head trauma? Was I genetically predisposed to it? Did my lifestyle leading up to the accident leave me vulnerable to chronic illness? In both cases I believe the answer to be yes. But I am not a medical professional, and I cannot change or debate my genetics, so I am only going to focus on my lifestyle leading up to the event.

Busier is not always better.

I had what I thought at the time to be a very healthy and active lifestyle. I had a great job, a fun and active social life, I exercised regularly, ate well, was in a healthy relationship  - sounds pretty perfect, right? Well upon reflection it was not so perfect after all. In reality I was wound so tight that I was just waiting to snap. I never said no to anything. I was always on the go, never really taking the time to relax and enjoy my life. I was simply pushing through one experience to get to the next, like a small child who won’t drift off to sleep for fear of missing out on something. I had to be engaged and involved in everything because it was how I defined myself – “I am Dannette, the girl with the most active and full life ever!” With or without the head trauma, my lifestyle was eventually going to catch up with me. A crash was inevitable.

So while I can easily state that my trigger was physical, the depleted state of my being leading up to the physical trauma likely left me vulnerable to the prolonged crash of chronic illness.

Why is it so important to understand all of this? Again, I am not a medical professional, so this is all theory on my part based on living many years with chronic illness, and my current experience with improved health. The reason I think it is so important to understand the trigger is because I believe it will best inform how we should approach our own unique blueprints for healing.

My trauma was physical and so is my treatment.

Unless this is your first time reading my blog, you know that I directly attribute the healing I am experiencing to my regular practice of yoga. I was very athletic leading up to my accident, and tried many times over the course of the first 13 years of my illness to return to my former athletic ways, only to fail and end up in miserable pain. When I discovered the healing powers of gentle and restorative yoga, my body responded immediately. I found movement without pain! And because of the neurological nature of FM, yoga is an excellent mindful movement to practice as it regulates and balances the central nervous system.

I did not have any viral issues to address, like so many people with FM and CFS do, so in a way I am fortunate. My blueprint is pretty direct. I have seen tremendous improvements by incorporating gentle movement back into my life, and by addressing several other contributing issues like food allergies (eliminating gluten), and toxicity (heavy metals).

Of course this is a simplified explanation of the many years of trial and error it took me to piece my blueprint together, but I believe if each of us take the steps to really address and acknowledge our triggers, we can begin to piece together a blueprint for healing. Take a long and truthful glance back on your life before the trigger. Were there other factors of your lifestyle that may have left you vulnerable? A difficult marriage or childhood? This would require adding an emotional healing component to your blueprint. Do you see where I am going with this?

I am no longer the girl who thinks I need to say yes to everyone and everything. In fact I try very hard to participate in only things that nourish me, and eliminate people and activities from my life that do not. Healing requires effort, and sometimes we have to make hard choices. It also requires us to be able to honestly reflect on how we, unknowingly or not, contribute to our own illness. It is only with awareness that we can make progress. So if you are ready to begin you blueprint, start here: What’s your trigger?

It has been nearly thirteen years now since the onset of my FM. At the time I was a healthy and active person. I worked full-time in management at a high-energy, high-stress job which I thrived on. I had one speed during this period of my life – fast and furious! In addition to working full-time, I took evening college courses. I had an active social life which kept me going the nights I was not in class. I was physically fit and active – rollerblading, hiking, backpacking. My days were full and my down time was pretty much non-existent.

And then early one morning as I was showering for work, everything changed. It was about 5AM. I had my back to the water and turned towards the wall to grab the shampoo. I felt my feet slip out from underneath me and understood immediately I was going to be hurt. There was nothing I could do. Slowly I started falling to my right, out of the tub and towards the toilet. There was only the thin, filmy shower curtain to slow my progress. With nothing to grab hold of, and no way to stop my momentum, all of my body weight was behind the impact as my head smacked into the porcelain toilet tank. The collision was strong, solid and in that moment painless. I fell to the floor stunned, awaiting the pain that I knew was lying just beneath the shock.

From there my memories are vague. I recall the nurse in the ER asking me “Can you point to your nose for me?” I recognized the word “nose,” but I could not contribute the familiar word to any part of my body. I hit my head just above my right temple. The impact was so hard I broke the lid to the toilet tank. Don’t think that hasn’t been a source of humor for my family over the years! It is one of the reasons my husband and I named our business Hard Head Media (the other being that he is the most stubborn person in the world!).

I was on disability for 6 months trying to recover from this accident. I never did. The trauma to my brain improved, but the symptoms of Fibromyalgia began to set in. The all over body pain was the worst of it. It was so bad I had to lay in bed naked because I could not stand to feel clothes against my skin. Even the weight of the sheet was sometimes too much. PAIN! Everything else was gone and pain became the dominant fixture in my life. Each time I complained to my doctor I was feeling worse, she said “You couldn’t possible be. Enough time has passed. You should be feeling better by now.” It would make me so angry and desperate to sit in her office and plead with her for help, only to be handed another prescription for drugs. I did not want to mask the symptoms, I wanted them to GO AWAY!

I was persistent. Finally she sent me to a Rheumatologist who then sent me to a Neurologist. The Neurologist was fun! I was his last patient of the day. My appointment was for 4PM. At 5:30PM I was still sitting in his waiting room. First he tried to send me away, but I refused. I wanted answers and he was going to give them to me. He took one look at me – not my chart, just me – and said “You want me to tell you you have a brain tumor. Well I am not going to tell you you have a brain tumor. But if it turns out you do have a brain tumor, you are the kind of person who will sue me.” He was a lovely man. We still exchange Christmas cards to this day! But he did finally do one thing right for me. I sat in his office determined and unintimidated and he finally consented that he thought I had Fibromyalgia. I had never heard the term Fibromyalgia before, but I was relieved to have finally been given a name for what he believed was causing all of my symptoms. He referred me to a pain specialist and she was the one who helped me get my symptoms under control.

Dr. DuQuett is her name. She was (probably still is) a no muss, no fuss kind of doctor. She was firm, direct, and not for a second did she encourage me to feel sorry for myself or let myself feel victimized. She is the one who refused to extend my disability. She forced me to redefine my life and discover how I could still be a productive person, even with a chronic pain condition. Tough love. First she put me through 16 weeks of therapy at a pain clinic though. There I learned how to reduce my symptoms with physical and aquatic therapy, meditation and relaxation, and biofeedback. I have said it before, I believe she gave me an incredible gift. I still suffered through many Fibromyalgia flare-ups after my treatment, and there were times that I did wish I was on permanent disability, but the majority of the time I managed, and sometimes I even thrived.

From when my treatment at the pain clinic ended in 1997 until the next inciting factor in 2006, I managed fairly well. My life was different. Fibromyalgia was a constant presence, but I learned to adjust to my new reality. I became a freelance sales rep and grew my territory into one of the top in the nation. I continued with my evening college courses, and in 2004 graduated with a degree in Literature and Writing. I got married to the amazing man who I had just started dating 6 weeks before the tub accident. We bought our first home together and traveled frequently. Life was good. But that all came to a screeching halt on the day my Fibromyalgia got superpowers! Dunt, dunt, duhn!!!

To be continued…

Continued here: How my Fibromyalgia Got Superpowers.