I guess I can just say that she is someone I reached out to individually because she was interested in getting involved in something I am doing and reaping great health benefits from, and now the whole thing has blown up in my face. I am just stunned at how my support and good intentions are now being twisted into such ugliness. It goes back to The Law of Detatchment and the lesson I learned there – “Today I will commit myself to detachment. I will allow myself and those around me the freedom to be as they are. I will not ridgidly impose my idea of how things should be. I will not force solutions on problems, thereby creating new problems. I will participate in everything with detached involvement.”

Basically what it all boils down to is I tried to help someone before she was ready to face or accept any changes that would be required of her to take control of her health. She is not ready, and I am perfectly okay with that. I did not and do not judge her, I just let her know that the opportunity is still available to her and that I would gladly go with her (and I am just talking about going to a holistic chiropractor, nothing too scary) to help alleviate her anxiety.

Now I am being accused of not showing her understanding or compassion and of pushing her away. Really the email blind-sided me and blew me away! And this was my favorite line – “Just remember I and many others have FMS and cannot predict how we will feel on certain days.” Okay, really, because I was not aware of that! Seriously, I guess I am a little mad. Now I am pondering how to respond to her, realizing full well that she possibly could read this post before I reply to her email. I am mad and offended. I did miss a call from her one day, and because I did I gave her my private cell number for her to reach me and even that offended her. I am starting to think I just cannot win with her.

But then what does that mean for her future with the support group? She has really enjoyed and benefited from each meeting she has attended and I would hate for her to lose that over a misunderstanding, but I am at a loss of how to salvage this relationship. The last email I sent her was so positive and encouraging and yet she still thinks I am pushing her away. I get the feeling she is projecting a lot of personal stuff onto me, and I am not sure I can reason with her. I am not sure I have the energy to reason with her, because remember, I have Fibromyalgia “and cannot predict how I will feel on certain days.”

I have had members join and leave the group because it was not a good fit for them, and I am fine with that. I have never had issues with a participating member though, so I am at a loss. I know I cannot be all things to all people and still honor my own health, but my every intention toward her was pure, and my head is spinning over her reaction. What to do? What to do? At this point, I really have no idea what I am going to do.

In their most recently newsletter, the main article was a feature on Fibromyalgia: Treating Fibromyalgia Naturally — So You Can Shine Again.  I found this to be the most realistic, in touch and accurate assessment of Fibromyalgia I have ever read. Several times throughout my reading of it I wanted to clap for Dr. Marcelle Pick, or stand up and bow. Here are just a few of the things she wrote that made me want to cheer her:

I see many women in my practice who feel discouraged and disheartened by the advice they’ve received about fibromyalgia. The sleeplessness, extreme fatigue, and widespread chronic pain that accompany fibromyalgia can be unbearable for some women, but the medical community has long been stumped by this confusing and controversial condition. It was ignored by conventional medicine for years, and in some circles fibromyalgia is still questioned as a “real” diagnosis. But fibromyalgia is real, and I know there are thousands of women out there who deserve compassionate and effective care. We don’t have all the answers yet, but pain specialists and functional practitioners are working to get to the root of fibromyalgia and similar pain syndromes, to give you the answers you want and deserve.

I think women with fibromyalgia deserve more than a prescription for their pain and suffering.

I see this as a condition that strikes at the very core of a woman’s being.

But you can feel good again, if you’re willing to roll up your sleeves, do some digging, and learn some new ways of being.

At this point in the article Dr. Skin goes into a very thorough discussion of Fibromyalgia and its underlying issues. She uses the word SHINE as an acronym for what she believes to be the main issues of FM – Sleep, Hormone Imbalance, Immune Health, Nutrition and Emotions. (Some of you may recognize this as a protocol of Dr. Teitelbaum, author of From Fatigued to Fantastic. I am very familiar with his name, but have yet to read his book. After reading this article I certainly plan to.) Dr. Skin also addresses Stress, Detox, Exercise and Mind-body Work. She shares a lot of valuable information in her article and is clearly invested in helping women with Fibromyalgia shine again.

Dr. Skin ends her article with encouragement and hope:

Find hope in your own light

We all glow in our own unique ways, and when we are feeling good, the world can feel our warmth and positive energy. I know fibromyalgia can dim this light, making us too tired, too discouraged, and too achy to find hope in anything, let alone feeling better. Especially if you’ve been told by your practitioner, or by several practitioners that there is nothing they can do — or worse, that your symptoms aren’t real — it can seem like you just have to live with this. But please know that you don’t have to live in pain, and you don’t have to be on a prescription medication for the rest of your life, either.

Fibromyalgia is a syndrome caused and influenced by many, many factors, and if you start to work on even one or two of these factors, you will find that light within starting to shine again. With this new hope, you can regain the energy to work on more aspects of your life that may be affecting your health — and in time, you’ll be enjoying each brand new day.

 

I encourage you to take the time to read the article for yourself. It is refreshing to read a perspective from a doctor who actually understands the many levels of Fibromyalgia, and hopefully you will decide on one or two factors of FM that you will want to work on. Articles like this go a long way in encouraging us to take steps towards better health and wellbeing. Thank you Dr. Skin.

15/30

Laughter Yoga is a revolutionary idea – simple and profound.  An exercise routine, it is fast sweeping the world and is a complete wellbeing workout. It is the brainchild of Dr. Madan Kataria, an Indian physician from Mumbai who started the first laughter club in a park on 13th March 1995, with just 5 people. Today, it has become a worldwide phenomenon with more than 6000 social laughter clubs in 60 countries. 

Laughter Yoga combines unconditional laughter with yogic breathing (Pranayama). Anyone can laugh for no reason, without relying on humor, jokes or comedy. Laughter is simulated as a body exercise in a group but with eye contact and childlike playfulness, it soon turns into real and contagious laughter. The concept of Laughter Yoga is based on a scientific fact that the body cannot differentiate between fake and real laughter.One gets the same physiological and psychological benefits

 

So what are the physiological and psychological benefits of laughter and how can they help patients with Fibromyalgia? Here is a list I compiled from my research:

• Laughter reduces pain and allows us to tolerate discomfort. It is not clear whether laughter is just a diversionary tactic to help us forget our pain or if it is due to a chemical change and an increase in endorphins, but researchers have time and again documented lowered pain responses in patients treated with humor therapy. It is also thought that a good hearty laugh that brings you to tears removes toxic substances that build up in our bodies during periods of emotional stress.
• Laughter improves brain function and reduces stress. Laughter stimulates both sides of the brain to enhance learning. It eases muscle tension and psychological stress, which keeps the brain alert and allows people to retain more information. Laughter is a great way to combat fibrofog.
• Laughter aids in better relaxation and improved sleep. The focus on the benefits of laughter really began with Norman Cousin’s memoir, Anatomy of an Illness. Cousins, who was diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis, a painful spine condition, found that a diet of comedies, like Marx Brothers films and episodes of Candid Camera, helped him feel better. He said that ten minutes of laughter allowed him two hours of pain-free sleep.
• Laughter helps your immune system carry out its natural functions. Laughter moves lymph fluid around your body simply by the convulsions you experience during the process of laughing; so it boosts immune system function and helps clear out old, dead waste products from organs and tissues. Your lymph system doesn’t have a separate pump; your body needs to move around to properly circulate lymph fluid so that your immune system can carry out its natural functions. Laughter is a great way to support that.

Pain, brain function and sleep (the three biggest complaints of Fibromyalgia patients) can all be improved with a regular dose of hearty laughter. And according to Dr. Kataria, founder of Laughter Yoga International, it doesn’t even matter if the laughter is spontaneous or forced, your body does not recognize the difference. When you laugh you are forcing oxygen into your lungs, muscles and the cells of your body, which boosts circulation and increases energy. And if you watch this video you will see, laughing is just plain old fun.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eB3ISAYE-I]

Tomorrow evening my support group is going to be treated with a session of laughter yoga. I will be sure to report back on the event and share with you how we all feel after all the laughter, giggles and silliness of the event.

I wasn’t going to talk about it. I probably shouldn’t talk about it. But now I am going to talk about it.

I have spent the last few weeks preparing for a deposition for a lawsuit I am involved in. I have filed a claim against the insurance of a person who rear-ended me. I will not go into the details, but they are 100% liable, and the insurance company is 100% trying to screw me!

This accident has changed my entire life. I gave up my lucrative sales position because I could no longer maintain my territory. I have suffered tremendous pain as a result of the accident and my Fibromyalgia has become much worse. The last two years since the accident have been hell – physically and emotionally.

Before then I was able to work full-time and live a relatively normal life with Fibromyalgia. Sure I had my flare-ups and my bad days, but it has been one continuous bad day since the accident. And if the pain wasn’t bad enough, the financial burden it has placed on my husband and me is enough to end most marriages.

And now they are dissecting my life as though I were a criminal on trial. I have to provide them with 10 plus years of medical records; all of my personal tax and banking information from the past 7 years; plus all of my sales and commission reports from 3 years before the accident until now. UNBELIEVABLE!!!

So if I have neglected my blog for the past few days this is why. I have been searching through boxes and files to come up with everything they need. I do not want to give them any ammunition to lowball my claim any further. Every time I answer the pages and pages of questions they have and provide them with the documents they need, they come up with more! I don’t know about you, but I do not organize my life so that I am readily prepared for this type of inquisition. Plain and simple, this has been a bitch.

When this is all settled and over, I am going to go into the details.  I am going to tell you all every painful detail of this experience that has been the underlying force behind my every thought, feeling and emotion over the past two years.  Seriously, this accident has influenced my life more than any other event in my adult life.  I am a believer that something good comes out of everything bad.  Well, it better be something REALLY good, and it better come soon!

Note: No the turkeys do not have Fibromyalgia, I DO! (and bad grammar too).

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I am hosting for 16 members of my family.  This is my fourth consecutive year doing so. I love hosting, and I love spending time with my family, and I would not willingly give up the honor of having them all here tomorrow, but there is always the Fibromyalgia to consider.  It is always there, like a big-old-ugly party pooper just waiting to smash me with its mallet of pain.  I have to consider it in everything I do, otherwise there is nothing left to consider, I am just down for the count, period.

So here are some of the things I have learned to do to help make sure that the day is a success for everyone, including myself.

Start early.

I start preparing for everything a couple of weeks ahead of time. Doing whatever I can ahead of time makes my life so much easier – wash the linens and serving platters, wipe down the folding chairs, etc. Not only does it help reduce my stress as Thanksgiving Day approaches because I have less to do, but it forces me to be organized.

Make lists.

I have grocery lists, and cleaning lists, and lists for my husband – lists, lists, lists! It may sound like overkill, but when my brain shuts down, as it tends to do with Fibrolmyalgia, where would I be without my lists? They give me direction and purpose when I get confused and overwhelmed. And they are constantly changing and evolving. If I hadn’t left my camera at a friend’s I would take a photo of my shopping list for you to see. It is a color-coded thing of beauty!

Ask for help and accept unsolicited help.

Granny makes the homemade noodles and dressing, my Aunt makes the pies. My sister and mother-in-law also contribute. And my Dad, well he contributes where it hurts the most, the pocket book! Really everyone pitches in. Even my newly married cousin asked what she could bring this year. It made me proud and a little sad that she is so grown up.

For the last few days I have had the best little helper, my niece. She is 13 going on 30 and is wonderful to have around. Poor little thing, she has no idea she is going to be pulling weeds today.

Don’t sweat the small stuff

This has been the hardest thing for me to overcome. I am a control freak. I like every little thing in its place. I could have been Martha Stewart’s maid in a former life. Seriously, I used to fret if one of my books was a centimeter out of line on my bookshelf. Fibromyalgia has forced me to get over this. I do not have the strength, the energy, or the brainpower to live like that anymore.

So when the family gets here tomorrow and there is a dust bunny that crawls out from under the sofa, I am not going to panic or apologize like I once did. Heck, I might not even pick it up. What do you expect? I have four pets. Get over it!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Note 2: No turkeys were harmed in the production of this post.  But tomorrow, that’s another story.