I organized the support group through an online social networking site. They are masters at making it easy and organized to start your own group. Before this weekend, the only requirement to join my group was to live locally and be suffering from Fibromyalgia and/or chronic pain/illness. Of the 23 members, 22 joined because they were genuinely looking for information, coping skills, community and compassion, but one less than active member was looking for customers.

Her first attempt at interacting with the group was by jumping into an e-mail thread about carb cravings and low energy. This is what she had to say:

 I would love to share my story about how I now have my inflammation in complete control naturally and I no longer have painful flareups that I have had for years. I have been reading everyone’s comments and I hear so many people who need help.  The nutritional product that has changed my life and my health is something called Monavie.  I will gladly share my story and explain more about why this one nutritional thing has changed my health.

Clearly a sales pitch, right? For those of you who have not heard of Monavie, it is one of the newest mulit-level marketing schemes opportunities which promises great health and great wealth. Now the former sales rep in me could almost appreciate the efforts of this “member.” After reviewing her profile I could see that she belonged to several health and wellness groups and with each group she offers to “share her story.” Let me tell you, sales is not easy, and I would imagine sales of this product is even more challenging. So she is ambitious and she has found a clever way to find potential customers without having to put forth much effort. Well, she tried her sales pitch out on the wrong group.

The well-informed and thoughtful women in my group were all over it.  Here is the first reply.

I am very leery of these products that profess to cure every illness known to mankind.  People with FMS do not have inflamation, even though it feels like it. I have tried too many ‘miracle’ cures over the years and won’t subject myself to that roller coaster ride anymore.  It’s harder on the psyche than dealing with the pain.  That’s my experience.

Thoughtful, well-spoken with a side of “I’m nobody’s fool!” How clever of her to point out the Fibromyalgia does not cause inflamation. But the replies became a little more heated after that.

Please don’t use our site to promote and make money off of people who suffer from cronic pain which is neurologically based.  There’s no magic cure. And there’s no food in the world that can take away my pain. Don’t try to sell me anything. That’s not what this group is about.

Polite yes, but to the point. And again well-informed enough to point out that Fibromyalgia is believed to be neurologically based. Eventually I stepped in, even though I think the members made their point very clear.

I appreciate that you are selling a product you believe in, but as (group members) have expressed already, this is not the appropriate place to do so.  It is important to me as the group moderator that each member feels safe and comfortable sharing with each other via our groups protected e-mails.  Please feel free to join in on any conversations as long as you are simply sharing information, not selling a product.

I guess coming from the moderator made it somewhat more official, because until this point she had written several more times in defense of her miracle elixir, but after my response this is what she had to say.

I apologize for even trying to help anyone.  Obviously, this is a heated subject for many people and I apologize to everyone for even saying anything.  When you mentioned that you were interested in what people were doing that helps I thought that I would share what I know as a nutritionist and a person who has personally suffered for years.  Obviously, this is a beehive of sensativity here and again I apologize for offending anyone with the recommendation of nutrition.

Now as moderator this irritated me, but as a former sales rep this made me laugh. It irritated me because until this happened the e-mail threads between members had been positive and informative and filled with suggestions on how to improve our health and well-being.  We are all clearly interested in doing so. For her to imply otherwise just confirmed that she was looking to make a sale, not a difference, and when she failed she became defensive. And that is why the former sales rep in me found it funny.

It is impossible not to get upset/defensive/irritated/defeated when you put yourself out there and again and again you are turned away. Sales is a hard way to make a hard living. I learned early on that I sold more because people liked me than I did because I sold a great product. This is where she went wrong. She did not take the time to get to know this smart and savvy group of women before force-feeding them a product which already has a not-so-stellar reputation.

Score one for the support group. Now excuse me while I go adjust the membership requirements for my group. I would hate to see what would happen to an Amway distributor if they accidentally joined our group.

Working from home may be one of the best things to come from living with Fibromyalgia.  I have been forced to adjust my career to allow for flare-ups and for days when I am not suitable for human consumption.  It has been a gradual transition from the full-time job I had when I was first diagnosed, to my current career as a freelance writer and homebody, but I am very pleased with the direction my career has taken.

The doctor who diagnosed me told me plainly and simply, “You are going to have to change your life, and most definitely your career, but you will be able to live and work productively with Fibromyalgia.”  I did not realize it at the time, but by saying that she had given me a gift, and her words play a huge part in how I have approached living with Fibromyalgia.  And the accident too, it also played a huge part in the changes I have made – forced change if you will.  I understand that I cannot be productive the way I once was.  I can no longer work a routine schedule set by the needs of an employer, but I am still capable of working at my pace.  So I have found a career to suit my needs and stimulate my mind.  So far it has been very satisfying, if not yet financially rewarding.  And now here I sit at my desk, which is an old refurbished army desk from my husband’s Dad, in my lovely antique chair that my husband procured for me off Craigslist.  I sit here each day and feel lucky to have the opportunity to pursue a writing career in the comforts of my own home with all the benefits it affords.

For instance, I get to spend the day with my lab Casey curled up behind me in her favorite leather chair.  She is thirteen and has endured a lot this year – 4 surgeries to open her scarred esophagus and later an awful stomach infection.  She is old, skinny, and riddled with arthritis, but she is a happy girl and it brings me great comfort spending every day with her, and feeling her constant presence behind me.  I have found there is a rhythm to the sound of her snore and it soothes me.

The coffee breaks are better when you work form home.  If I decide to go out for my break I have several nearby coffee shops to choose from, and I get to take my work with me.  How great is that?  It is a good way to stimulate my brain and usually gives me new and fresh ideas for my writing.  It is also a good way to counteract the isolation of working from home and to remind myself that the world is still abuzz with activity.

Working from home has helped save our budget too.  Previously I was a commissioned sales rep and traveled 3 counties to visit accounts.  I had to spend money to make money.  Not just on gas, but on lunches, and supplies, and general wear and tear on my car, and also on my wardrobe.  A sales rep lifestyle is expensive.  Now I can do everything from my desk, and who cares what I am wearing!

You have to be disciplined to work from home otherwise you lose a lot of valuable time.  I am fortunate (when I am not sidelined by a flare-up) to not have issues with this so far, and mostly that is because I love writing and when I am not writing I am doing research for my writing, which I enjoy as much if not more.  There are so many freelance writing opportunities on the Web on such varied topics.  It is fascinating and I feel constantly driven to get my piece of it.  I am not the most accomplished author, but check back with me soon!

Despite my limitations, I still need to feel productive.  I need to feel like I am contributing to my life.  I cannot give in to the pain.  I will not let it defeat me.  Disability is not an option.  That is what my doctor told me eleven years ago.  That was her gift to me and I hold onto it tightly.  It is because of her gift that I sit here today in my antique chair; at my refurbished army desk; with my cup of coffee and my lab Casey, and write these words that few will read.  But these words will lead to the next, each one building the foundation of my new career.  Just think, without the Fibromyalgia, I may never have made this leap.  I am not quite ready to “thank” my Fibromyalgia, but I do acknowledge that it just might be taking me to a better place.  I hope it not to be with me when I get there!