When I think of my desire to get well, the idea of being “cured” has never been my emphasis. Would it be amazing if one day we are all completely free of fibromyalgia? Absolutely! But in my quest to live better, I have never focused on a cure as my destination. Instead of focusing on a cure – something I cannot control, I have tried to focus on my potential for living better in each moment – something I can control, and on building momentum during the good moments and minimizing the bad. It is a formula that often works, and continues to encourage me to keep trying, even if it means I sometimes fail and fibromyalgia wins.

In our frustration with the many debilitating symptoms and lifestyle disruptions of FM, we often look for (and hope for) the quick fix. Who can blame us? But if there is one thing I can share today to encourage and inspire those of you trying to make sense of the misery of FM, it is this – focus on the things you can control, and let go of your attachment to the things you cannot. Be realistic. Understand that you can live better and that you do have a measurable amount of control over your symptoms.

Small changes can really add up to decreased symptoms and a better quality of life.

By being present and focusing on the variables you can control, you are doing the very best for yourself. Minimizing stress, eliminating sugar and gluten, exercising, etc. will not cure you of FM, but they will help reduce your symptoms and increase your quality of life. It is just a fact. A life with chronic illness is still a life full of potential and possibility, but we have a part to play to reach that potential.

Frida turned her pain into her passion.

The great Mexican artist and revolutionary Frida Khalo lived her life of chronic illness with passion and vigor – painting many masterpieces along the way. I am no Frida, but I certainly have a lot to live passionately for. Fibromyalgia or not, my life has purpose and I intend to continue focusing on the possibilities rather than the pain. And I know I am not alone. There are many of you who feel the same, so for you, this is just a gentle reminder of your potential.

And for those of you who need a little more encouragement I offer this:

Start small. Change happens slowly. This is an uphill battle we are all facing, but each baby-step takes us closer to where it is we want to be – as long as we have a realistic view of our destination. The path is bumpy, and dusty, and there are many obstacles – and even some booby traps – but with dedication and determination, it is passable.

Celebrate and build on the little victories. Again, this means you must have realistic expectations. Maybe you start walking 5-10 minutes a day. And 4 out of 7 days you do so relatively pain free. Yes! Definitely worthy of a celebration. Sometimes you will not see the results of your efforts immediately, but just know that your efforts are having an effect, and that change is happening. This is why it is so important to stay encouraged, because our bodies give us many reasons to be discouraged. Chose to focus on the potential, not the pain.

Understand that even with improvement, the bad days will still come. This does not mean that all of the good work you have been doing is lost. It does not mean that you should be discouraged and give up. It is simply a fact of a life with chronic illness – one of the facts we cannot change, so slow down, accept the setback, and prepare yourself to move forward again once you are able. Fibromyalgia is not a static condition. It changes and fluctuates constantly. Know that no matter how bad you are feeling in any particular moment, there are better moments ahead. Pain of today does not reduce your potential for tomorrow.

I am thankful for my smart, funny and charming husband. I am thankful for the years he selflessly held us together while never making me feel inadequate. I am thankful for his companionship, his commitment to our partnership, and his unending loyalty, support, and love.

I am thankful for my parents. For all the words of wisdom and encouragement when I need them most. For instilling in me the belief that there is nothing I can’t do. For loving me unconditionally. For letting me find my own way, but always being there for me when I need them.

I am thankful for my sis. For checking in on me nearly every day to see how I am doing – regardless of what is going on in her life. I am thankful that she loves me completely without expecting anything in return. I am thankful for our sister lunches and the quality time we spend together.

I am thankful for all my family – My Granny, Aunts, Uncles, Nieces, Nephews, Cousins, and for the family I married into. I scored with my in-laws! I understand how fortunate I am to have such a loving extended family, and I am very thankful for each and every one of them.

I am thankful for my friends – old & new. My friends who know me sometimes better than my family. My friends who love and support me regardless of what I am able to contribute to our friendship. My friends who understand when I need to cancel a lunch date or head home early from an evening out. I am thankful for my awesome friends!

I am thankful for my new job, and for my new boss for seeing in me the potential to shine in his company, and for giving me the tools to do so. I am going to be a rockstar!

I am thankful for my Casey girl. I miss her so much this Thanksgiving. The first one without her in 14 years. I will miss her big soulful brown eyes pleading with me to share some Thanksgiving dinner. I will miss the way she greets all of our guests with joyful abandon. I will miss the gentle way she had with my Granny. I will miss the sound of her snoring after a long day of socializing with family. I miss her a lot – and am so thankful for the years we had together.

I am thankful for our current crazy critters – all four of them – and their unique and joyful personalities. Life is not dull around here.

I am thankful for the warm cup of coffee I am currently sipping, the fuzzy slippers on my feet, the blue sky out my window, and the waves crashing on the beach just down the street.

I am thankful for the potential of today and the promise of tomorrow.

I am thankful for the swirl of words in my head, and for my cold but nimble fingers that eagerly guide them to this page.

I am thankful for this page, and the many other pages that make up my blog. I am thankful for FibroHaven, in all its components.

And I am thankful for you! Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. It is a greater honor to me than you will ever know. Thank you if you have ever left a comment. Thank you if we have connected on twitter or facebook. Thank you for allowing my voice into your life.

Finally, I am thankful for everything that has happened in my life to lead me exactly where I am today – full of potential and promise.

Happy Thanksgiving!