What do you do when you are having a relatively good day, but suddenly hit a wall? Do you push through, or do you slow down and give in to it? There is a BIG brick wall looming just ahead of me. Can’t decide if I want to try and hurdle it or lay down before I smash my face into it! Let’s discuss. I would love to know how you manage.

There were many great responses that are worth taking the time to read. After reading them I knew I wanted to continue the conversation with a new blog post, and as often happens in life, I was further inspired to do so by my yoga practice today.

I was in a new class with a new instructor. This is always a thrilling and completely terrifying experience for me. Will I be able to keep up? What is their teaching style – gentle and nurturing or kick-butt boot camp style?

The teacher has a dramatic effect on your yoga experience and sets the tone for the entire practice. My favorites are the gentle leaders who guide with simple, clear directives and encourage everyone to honor where they are on that particular day. A good yoga instructor understands that our bodies can be different from day to day – even from morning to afternoon, and afternoon to evening. This is just one of the reasons why yoga – with the right instructor – is an excellent mindful movement for fibromyalgia. But I digress…

Just a few moments into my practice, I knew I had chosen the right class. He was gentle and clear, explaining how to elongate the spine while bending gently to the side. With my eyes closed, I focused on his voice and his directions, and found new joy in a pose I have done many times. It was a great “ah-ha” moment and my body responded with pleasure.

And then he said something that I felt like a wave rushing through my entire body:

Find the space between pleasure and pain, and rest there.

I was instantly overwhelmed with the intention and deep meaning that statement held for me. Much deeper than the obvious benefit it was to my practice on my mat that day – it is something we can all apply directly to living well with chronic illness everyday. Read it again. Read it several times. Read it out loud.

Find the space between pleasure and pain, and rest there.

How does it make you feel? For me, I felt empowered – empowered to know that space exists and empowered to know I was learning how to find it.

The space between pleasure and pain. This concept is difficult for the fibromyalgia sufferer. It is a space many do not know how to reach. And even if we do reach it, we may not be able to appreciate it, as we have become conditioned to brace ourselves for the next surge of pain. Admit it, some of you think finding this space is as likely as finding a unicorn there when you reach it. Right?

But this space is real. It does exist. We just need to learn to quiet ourselves long enough to find it, and then trust it enough to relax into it.  It is like finding the silence between our thoughts with meditation – the silence is there, we just have to learn to find it. It takes effort. It takes practice. It requires mindfulness. But it is real.

Rest. A simple word that is a difficult concept for those of us living with chronic illness. Often we are forced to rest, and it is anything but restful. Then, sometimes we chose to rest, but we are distracted by all the other “more productive” things we can be doing with our time. We fail to see how productive resting truly is.

Like all mindful approaches to living, embracing and living in the restful moments is a process. It takes work. How ridiculous does that sound? It takes work to learn how to rest. I wrote it. I believe it. And it still makes me chuckle reading it.

In general, our culture does not embrace rest. We have been conditioned to make the most of every moment. Multitask. Leave no stone unturned. But what bad could possibly happen by leaving a few stones be while you embrace the joy and restoration of rest? Really? Why can’t we learn to love the silence and enjoy the rest?

We can, but it is going to take work – and practice. We have a lot of conditioning to undo. And it is not going to undo itself. Through yoga and meditation – I am starting to come undone. I am unraveling and letting go of the tension I held so rigidly to for years. My space between the pleasure and the pain is growing and I am learning to rest there. I am learning to embrace my chosen moments of rest, rather than wait for the brick wall to force me into it.

You have that space too. We all do. Even on the days when you are certain it does not exist, it does. If you believe it, you can begin to find your way to it – and rest.

Rare is the Fibromyalgia patient who embraces exercise.

Not only does it elicit a pain response in most of us, but it also sends our defenses up. Too, too many times we have heard the unsolicited advice, “If you would only exercise you would feel much better.” We could all give examples of some of the insensitive and inaccurate things we have heard, that is not at question here, but what is under consideration is what truth is there in those comments?

It is hard to consider the validity to a comment that has raised our defenses and left us feeling misunderstood. But what if, regardless of how misinformed the comment and commenter, there is an underlying validity to it? Should we continue to be defensive and ignore what instinctively we already know? Who are we hurting if we do this? Not them, that is for sure.

Be Mindful

The fact is, not all exercise is good or even possible for most Fibromyalgia patients, but some form of mindful movement is essential if we ever want to improve our symptoms and our overall wellbeing. And yet it seems so counterintuitive: “It hurts to move, so you are telling me I need to move?” How does that make sense?

A lot of research has been done on this topic. Article after article has been written touting the benefits of exercise for Fibromyalgia. Here is a summary of the benefits of exercise for those with Fibromyalgia from WebMD:

helps restore the body’s neurochemical balance and triggers a positive emotional state

boosts levels of natural endorphins — pain-fighting molecules

triggers the release of epinephrine and norepinephrine, hormones that are known to boost alertness

burns calories and makes weight control easier

gives range-of-motion to painful muscles and joints

improves a person’s outlook on life

improves quality of sleep

improves one’s sense of well-being

increases aerobic capacity

increases cardiovascular health

increases energy

places the responsibility of healing in the hands of the patient

reduces anxiety levels and depression

relieves stress associated with a chronic disease

stimulates growth hormone secretion

stimulates the secretion of endorphins or “happy hormones”

strengthens bones

strengthens muscles

Would your life and your symptoms benefit with even one of the listed improvements? Then let’s step back from our conditioned response to exercise and think about how we can approach mindful movement with more positive results.

Be Gentle

This really is a matter of reconditioning our response to, and expectation of movement. Societies idea of exercising for health is to push through the pain; No Pain No Gain. Absurd really, and an approach that will guarantee failure for those of us living daily in pain. Take that approach and turn it inside out and then upside down. Gentle, mindful movement is the key to exercising with Fibromyalgia.

If you are familiar with my blog at all you know I am a huge proponent of yoga. Well I learned the hard way recently that I need to revise my ardor of yoga.

I Love Yoga, But Not All Yoga Loves Me

My first experience with yoga years ago was a No Pain No Gain experience. Even though I made an attempt to explain Fibromyalgia and my limitations to the instructor, she still pushed me way beyond my means. It was an awful experience and I was done with yoga. Fortunately, Fibromyalgia has taught me to consider and reconsider everything, because, when given the opportunity to practice yoga again, I did and had a completely different experience. It was one of the greatest epiphany moments I have had. Movement without pain. Hallelujah!

But then recently I had a setback to my love affair with yoga. For financial reasons I was no longer able to attend the gentle yoga classes that were having such a positive impact on my health and my symptoms. I was forced to look for alternatives; I tried YouTube videos with no success; found a few sources on Facebook that were okay, but not great; rented a few DVD’s, not even close. Then I resorted to buying a Yoga for Beginners DVD. I mistakenly interpreted “for beginners” as meaning “gentle.” Boy was I wrong. Massive failure and major flare-up.

But We Are Resilient – Remember

So I looked again specifically for “gentle” yoga, and I found a free class being offered at a local library. My love was back. I spent the next restorative hour in mindful movement so gentle I sometimes wonder if it is really benefitting me, but it is. The result was no flare, days of improved cognitive function, better sleep, and decreased pain – all from one class!

Not All Movement is Created Equal

So you tried yoga and it hurt and sent you into a flare and now you are done with exercising. Exercising is not for you. I could not possibly understand how severely exercise hurts you because if I did I would not be telling you to do it.

I understand all of the reasoning behind not exercising, because I used them all myself for many years. And if I had tried yoga again and it had been anything other than gentle and restorative, I would still be reasoning myself out of attempting any form of movement. It is understandable. We have become conditioned by our pain. But the really great thing is that we can also become reconditioned.

First you must trust that your muscles need movement. The longer they remain inactive, the more severely they will continue to hurt, the less energy you will have, and the harder it will be for them to support your frame. Your muscles want and need to move.

Next you have to find the appropriate movement for you. It may not be yoga. Maybe it is Tai Chi or Qigong. Maybe it is some form of water movement. Maybe it is a slow and gentle walk. Find what works best for you. Find what you love and what makes your body say Hallelujah.

Finally you need to accept that you will feel sore and there may be some discomfort, but you should not become discouraged by it. Consider how long you have been inactive. Honor you body and your limitations, but do not use them as the reason for not trying.

As with all things Fibromyalgia, there is no easy answer or quick fix, but if you intend to get better, then mindful movement is a necessary step towards wellness. Do not give up if your first attempt is a failure. Regroup and recommit yourself to mindful movement. When you find what works for you the rewards will be many, including an increased range of pain free movement. And as I like to say – be sure to take baby steps to avoid the making the painful leaps.