The valedictorian at my nephew’s graduation gave a funny and moving speech. She had the entire football stadium laughing with jokes about her mixed heritage – her mother is Mexican and her father is Jewish. She apologized to everyone unable to find a seat because her mother had her entire side of the family seated in the home-side bleachers. Such a witty girl, and by the time she changed the tone of the speech she held everyone’s attention.

Her tone changed as she went on to point out and talk about individual students – not the jocks, or the cheerleaders, or the ASB officers though. Her list was filled with the classmates who went mostly unnoticed over the past four years – students who stayed in the background for one reason or another, yet still made up the unique fabric of her graduating class. I found myself in tears over stories of students I had never met, and who maybe even my nephew had never met. She painted such a lovely picture of how each of them were individuals, and they should embrace who they are, and they should all be proud of the contribution they made to their graduating class. Her message really impressed and inspired me.

I woke up this morning thinking about it, and about how it applies to so much more than just her graduating class. I laid in bed thinking about how many of us with Fibromyalgia and chronic illness are like those students who remain in the background. We struggle to participate. We struggle to reach our full potential. We struggle to contribute to our homes, and our jobs, and our communities. Our lives are a struggle, and yet we still are – each of us – uniquely individual and valuable.

It is hard to honor your contribution when all you can see is what you are no longer able to do. It is hard to embrace who you are when all you can do is miss who you used to be. Chronic illness is hard, but as I once heard a very wise girl say, the fabric of our lives would be completely different if just one “student” made the choice not to complete this journey. Have compassion for yourself. Accept who you are. Embrace your individuality and honor your contribution. I do!

The Law of Detachment says that in order to acquire anything in the physical universe, you have to relinquish your attachment to it. This doesn’t mean you give up the intention to create your desire. You don’t give up the intention, and you don’t give up the desire. You give up your attachment to the results.

I am sharing this with you to explain an epiphany I had last week while attending an introduction to meditation class at The Chopra Center. I scheduled the event as a support group function and was hopeful that many members would take advantage of the free class. The RSVPs for the event were low – 5 yes, and 3 maybe. It is understandable and common to have people unwell enough to attend or to change their RSVP at the last minute from yes/maybe to no. In the end only three of us made it to meditation, and one member who showed had to leave because she was having a reaction to the incense burning throughout the center.

As I sat there trying to relax and prepare for the meditation I was unfocused and thinking about what more I could have done to encourage participation. I believe strongly that meditation is a great tool to aid us in our never-ending quest for wellness. How could I share my beliefs with the members and make them believers too? These thoughts distracted me, but soon the instructor was able to gain my full attention. At the end of the class she shared with us the intention of Chopra’s Law of Detachment and read to us the following step explaining how to apply the law:

Today I will commit myself to detachment. I will allow myself and those around me the freedom to be as they are. I will not ridgidly impose my idea of how things should be. I will not force solutions on problems, thereby creating new problems. I will participate in everything with detached involvement.

There it was. The universe was speaking to me on that day and telling me to let go and detach from the expectations I have placed on the meetings and events I schedule for the group. It was like a weight being lifted. There were about 15 people in the room but I felt like she was speaking directly to me.

There is no reason for me to get frustrated or discouraged when my members do not attend. I cannot set their goals and intentions for them. I cannot tell them what will work and what will be good for them. I can only continue to schedule meetings and events, enjoy the members who do attend, and give the members who do not attend opportunities to do so in the future. My intention when I started the support group was to create a place for people with Fibromyalgia and chronic pain to come together to learn, laugh, share, and encourage. My intentions have not changed, but I had become too conscious and attached to the results. I am determined now to let go of my expectations and just continue with my intentions. Good things will happen and members will show when they are ready.

The Law of Detachment was read to me on a day when I needed the lesson the most. I am so grateful that I was present and open to the message. Isn’t it amazing how serendipitous our universe can be at times?

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