The Benefits:

Yoga heals. A recent study on yoga for fibromyalgia conducted at Oregon Health & Science University confirms what I have been experiencing since beginning my yoga practice 18 months ago – “yoga appears to assist in combating a number of serious fibromyalgia symptoms, including pain, fatigue, stiffness, poor sleep, depression, poor memory, anxiety and poor balance. All of these improvements were shown to be not only statistically but also clinically significant, meaning the changes were large enough to have a practical impact on daily functioning. For example, pain was reduced in the yoga group by an average of 24 percent, fatigue by 30 percent and depression by 42 percent.”

Yoga is a joyful practice, and the results are undeniable as is clearly demonstrated in my own personal experience and the above referenced study. I cannot say it enough. Yoga heals!

I can, and am getting better! I am not only feeling physically stronger, I am also feeling mentally and spiritually stronger. I have hope. I have joy. I have peace. I have a new love and enthusiasm for life that I have not experienced in many years.

We are not alone in our suffering. One of the unexpected benefits of the teacher training program is the camaraderie I have found with the other students. Suffering is not unique to fibromyalgia, and the program has reminded me of this. Each of the students was drawn to yoga from a different need, and listening to the stories of others has helped me understand how universal suffering is, which has allowed me to let go of the limiting belief that anything I am experiencing is unique or unusual.

I do not have to accept the level of suffering I have been living with for 14 years. Suffering is found in more than just the physical manifestation of FM. It can also appear as self-judgement and criticism, guilt and regret, isolation and silence. These are all conditions we create in response to our illness, but they are also conditions we can change. As we being to improve our mental and emotional suffering, our physical suffering improves naturally – and vice versa.  Love yourself. Be kind and gentle to yourself. Embrace your body’s natural ability to renew and restore. It can and it will if you nurture it properly. You are worth the effort!

The Challenges:

I still have symptoms and must remember to continue to listen to my body and honor what I am feeling. I experience so much joy in movement, but given the neurological nature of FM, it is possible and even likely to over do it and trigger a flare. It is not in the practice of yoga that I find myself overdoing it, but in the routine of my daily life. Because I have so much more energy and much less pain, it is easy to get carried away and take on too much. I do not want to slip back into the unhealthy patterns that lead up to and contributed to the severity of my FM – always on the go, saying yes to everything and everyone, never slowing down to enjoy the moment and breathe! But the good news is that when I do experience the symptoms of a flare, they are shorter and less intense. I recover more quickly. I am hopeful that the 2 week and 2 month flares are behind me!

Taken in Sedona AZ after a 3 hour hike - something I could not have done just one year ago.

If I had to nail down the one thing that has benefited me the most, it would be the understanding that I can and do control my health. Fibromyalgia is a very real condition, but that does not mean it is a permanent condition. We have options, and there are things we can do and lifestyle changes we can make that will diminish the symptoms we experience. I have no idea if I will ever completely eliminate the symptoms I experience, but I am continuing to improve and better my quality of life. If I only improve to the percentages stated in the study above, that is enough improvement for me. But I believe I will improve much more!

As much as I want each one of you to experience the same improvements I am, I understand that we all must take our own journeys. Yoga may not be your exercise of choice, and that is okay, as long as you choose something that improves your health and slowly betters your quality of life. Did I mention it has taken me 18 months to get to where I am? It does not happen overnight, and it certainly has not been a straight line from my first yoga class to the teacher training program I am in today. If I had to map it out it would make us all dizzy! But there has been a lot of joy in the journey so far, and I have a lot of motivation to continue on, regardless of the obstacles and dangerous turns ahead.

Make the choice – choose to improve, choose an exercise you love, choose to feed your body the foods that nourish and heal, choose to love and forgive yourself, choose to love and forgive others, choose health. It is possible. The choice is yours!

Sometimes they happen when, after several days of feeling good, I wake up in the kind of pain that is impossible to reason. Or they happen when I reflect on how long I have been sick, and how long it is going to take me to heal. Sometimes they happen for no specific reason at all. I just get tired of the work, tired of the journey, and I just want to stop.

But I don’t stop – for too long anyway. And the thing that propels me forward and makes me keep showing up is this – the moments.

There are moments in our lives, moments that when they happen make us say: “Ah-ha, this is it! This is what it is all about.” Sometimes they happen when I am on my yoga mat and all the pieces come together and I feel nothing but joy. Or they happen at a support group function when I see a member’s face transform from agony to acceptance over the course of the evening. They can happen in a phone call, or from an email, or an exchange on facebook. They happen all the time. We just have to be aware and present to receive them.

Yesterday I scheduled a last minute group meditation at the Chopra Center. It is something we do together once a month, but I missed the one earlier this month, so I scheduled an extra one just for me. As I was heading out the door, for a moment, I had the urge not to go. It had been a long day – 2 1/2 hours of yoga teacher training followed by 90 minutes of gentle yoga at the YMCA. I was tired, and could easily have stayed home, especially since no other members had signed up to go. But I showed up – for me – because meditation nourishes me, and I was pleased to be joined by another member at the last minute.

Group meditation can be powerful, taking you much deeper into your practice, but it can also create unique challenges. A few minutes after we were seated in meditation, a late-comer burst in the door, literally crashed into the chairs, and then took about 3 minutes to get settled. THEN the very loud band started playing at the nearby restaurant (end of summer festivities). AND THEN the very loud late-comer began snoring and snorting! At one point I had to focus very hard to keep from laughing out loud at the absurdity of it all!

It is the most distracted I have ever been during a meditation, and yet I still felt restored by it. Walking back to my car I realized I was not nearly as fatigued as when I arrived. I am certain I was not in deep meditation for too long because of all the distractions, but however much I did was enough. I am so glad I showed up. If I had stayed home I would have been feeding my fatigue rather than nourishing myself. And it was great spending some one on one time with a member who need some guidance.

So all in all, there were several moments last night to keep me going – and keep me laughing. I cherish those moments, and that is why I keep showing up – because you just never know when one will appear.

Throughout your life there’s a voice that only you can hear. It’s a call to the true value of your life – a call to make a difference that only you can make. If you never hear it, something magical will be lost. But if you hear it and heed it, then your life will become a wonderful romance and adventure. Now is the time. Jump in. Make a splash. Change the world.

Romance, adventure, a magical life – isn’t that what we all want? What we all hope to achieve? My voice is telling me I am not currently on that path, but that is okay, because I can hear my voice, and I trust it to guide me back. I trust me. I trust my journey, with all its offshoots and distractions. Today my splash is little, a ripple really, but I am building up momentum for a giant cannonball.

What is your voice telling you? Are you ready for a little romance and adventure?

I am thankful for my smart, funny and charming husband. I am thankful for the years he selflessly held us together while never making me feel inadequate. I am thankful for his companionship, his commitment to our partnership, and his unending loyalty, support, and love.

I am thankful for my parents. For all the words of wisdom and encouragement when I need them most. For instilling in me the belief that there is nothing I can’t do. For loving me unconditionally. For letting me find my own way, but always being there for me when I need them.

I am thankful for my sis. For checking in on me nearly every day to see how I am doing – regardless of what is going on in her life. I am thankful that she loves me completely without expecting anything in return. I am thankful for our sister lunches and the quality time we spend together.

I am thankful for all my family – My Granny, Aunts, Uncles, Nieces, Nephews, Cousins, and for the family I married into. I scored with my in-laws! I understand how fortunate I am to have such a loving extended family, and I am very thankful for each and every one of them.

I am thankful for my friends – old & new. My friends who know me sometimes better than my family. My friends who love and support me regardless of what I am able to contribute to our friendship. My friends who understand when I need to cancel a lunch date or head home early from an evening out. I am thankful for my awesome friends!

I am thankful for my new job, and for my new boss for seeing in me the potential to shine in his company, and for giving me the tools to do so. I am going to be a rockstar!

I am thankful for my Casey girl. I miss her so much this Thanksgiving. The first one without her in 14 years. I will miss her big soulful brown eyes pleading with me to share some Thanksgiving dinner. I will miss the way she greets all of our guests with joyful abandon. I will miss the gentle way she had with my Granny. I will miss the sound of her snoring after a long day of socializing with family. I miss her a lot – and am so thankful for the years we had together.

I am thankful for our current crazy critters – all four of them – and their unique and joyful personalities. Life is not dull around here.

I am thankful for the warm cup of coffee I am currently sipping, the fuzzy slippers on my feet, the blue sky out my window, and the waves crashing on the beach just down the street.

I am thankful for the potential of today and the promise of tomorrow.

I am thankful for the swirl of words in my head, and for my cold but nimble fingers that eagerly guide them to this page.

I am thankful for this page, and the many other pages that make up my blog. I am thankful for FibroHaven, in all its components.

And I am thankful for you! Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. It is a greater honor to me than you will ever know. Thank you if you have ever left a comment. Thank you if we have connected on twitter or facebook. Thank you for allowing my voice into your life.

Finally, I am thankful for everything that has happened in my life to lead me exactly where I am today – full of potential and promise.

Happy Thanksgiving!