On Wednesday night, two of my favorite dancers performed a routine that was choreographed to tell the story of a woman with breast cancer. I just have to share it with you. Like the Rob Thomas song Her Diamonds, this dance overwhelmed me. It is a tribute to breast cancer, not to Fibromyalgia, and yet I felt so connected to the character. Whether it is cancer or Fibromyalgia, suffering looks the same. She has moments of strength and grace in this dance, only to come crashing down in pain and despair. But then there is her partner, steady and strong, supporting her when and how she needs it. Everyone was moved by this dance – the audience, the judges and the dancers themselves. It is beautiful and a powerful form of expression. I just might trade in my blog to be able to dance like that.

The best part of my blog though has been the connections I have made with people who also struggle with Fibromyalgia and other chronic illnesses. It brings me joy when someone takes the time to leave a comment because something I wrote spoke to them, or when someone adds Fibromyalgia Haven to the blog roll on their own site as a recommendation to their readers. Recently I discovered a new blog because of the link she created by adding me to her blog roll. I wanted to share with you her latest post and introduce you to the brave woman and talented artist Kellie Robinson.

Here is a excerpt from her post and an example of her art:

About a decade ago, when I first found I was addicted to polymer clay, I fell in love with doing filigree work. I discovered eventually I could blend my clay colors as I was extruding them, and I became even more entranced.

Shortly after this, I became a victim of a violent crime. I was at work, and a guy put a gun up to my head while he robbed us. I immediately had a severe post traumatic stress attack. I couldn’t leave my house or go anywhere by myself, and work was out of the question. I sat around and thought about the incident over and over. My husband had to drive me to therapy appointments, because I thought I saw this guys car every time I got behind the wheel. After a week or two I eventually turned to my clay and my new discovery. For almost a month, I worked on these beads. While working on the beads, I just blocked everything out, and would get so caught up in them that I forgot to think about the armed robbery. That is just the way it is whenever I do the filigree work. They really did help me to heal. The beads are quite large, I really never meant to wear it. It was meant as an art piece, even though I didn’t consider myself to be an artist at that time. A friend talked me into submitting them to a magazine, Jewelry Crafts, and to my amazement, they published the piece, with my instructions.

I ended up developing fibromyalgia shortly after the armed robbery (there is a connection!) and over the years, my clay went on the back burner. I spent the last 3 yrs trying to work full time at the bead store, and that didn’t really leave me much energy for my clay. I was still teaching polymer clay, but rarely brought the clay out just for myself. About a year ago, I decided I wanted to try some filigree again. I remembered how therapeutic it was, sitting and coiling the strands of clay, gently making precise cuts so everything fit together like a glove. I don’t know how to explain it, other then it’s almost like a trance-like state.

I was so touched by Kellie’s post and the telling of her traumatic experience, which developed into Fibromyalgia. If she had not created the link between our two worlds I may never have heard her story or seen her beautiful wearable art. Aren’t her beads amazing! Kellie’s description of the therapeutic “trance-like” state she goes into when creating them is the reason I think art exists. It is an outlet, an expression, and a gift. I wanted to share Kellie’s gift with you and also share the comment she left me after I left one to her:

fibrohaven, I have to tell you I had mixed feelings about posting this blog. I really thought my artsy friends would have no interest in my health problems. I thought about it for over a month before I finally posted it.

I am very new to blogging, and don’t at all understand how you found my post, but I am so glad you did. of all the posts I might possibly get, I can promise you that yours will mean the most to me. I found your blog about a month or so ago, and have found it to be the most up to date, SMARTEST, no bullshit info on fibromyalgia. I wish everyone in my life read your blog. I have been devouring your blog! it’s not just the info on your blog, but the artistic element I find there…it speaks to me.

Reading her comment was most certainly one of my defining moments since beginning my blog. It may seem self-serving that I am sharing it with you, but I do not mean it to be. Instead I mean to show the power of sharing and connecting. The connection Kellie made has been meaningful to both of us. By sharing my life and my story Kellie learned she is not alone in her struggles, and by sharing with me how reading my blog has affected her, I have learned that my voice has purpose and that my story is meaningful. Is there a greater gift then that?

I am so proud of you Kellie for being brave enough to share your truth, even though you worried that your friends may not understand or be interested. I hope they surprised you with their compassion and understanding. And now you can count me among your friends. I do care, and I do understand. Thank you so much for connecting our two worlds. I hope your story will inspire others to do the same.

P.S. And you most definitely are an artist!

Boy did that feel great!  Yesterday I was a balled-up angry mess, but then I typed the word “pissed” 500 times and I felt much better!

As I have said before, pain makes me angry.  How could it not?  Pain leads to all things bad in my world, so sometimes I have to just spew forth like an angry volcano and relieve some of the pressure and tension that has built up.  Right now I can hear Rob cheering that I took it out on “Dr. Charlatan” and not on him.

So since I felt so great afterwards (like I could have wrestled a buffalo and won), I decided to google the health benefits of writing and expression.  Turns out that I am not on to anything new.

The first study I found was specifically conducted on Fibromyalgia patients, and the researchers found “Fibromyalgia patients experienced short-term benefits in psychological and health variables through emotional expression of personal traumatic experiences.”  They concluded that written emotional expression can be beneficial to your short-term health.

Then I read a broader and more in-depth study.  They found similar short-term benefit, as in the Fibromyalgia study, in addition to the following long-term benefits:

Longer-term benefits of expressive writing

Health outcomes

 

• Fewer stress-related visits to the doctor
• Improved immune system functioning
• Reduced blood pressure
• Improved lung function
• Improved liver function
• Fewer days in hospital
• Improved mood/affect
• Feeling of greater psychological well-being
• Reduced depressive symptoms before examinations
• Fewer post-traumatic intrusion and avoidance symptoms

 

Social and behavioral outcomes

 

• Reduced absenteeism from work
• Quicker re-employment after job loss
• Improved working memory
• Improved sporting performance
• Higher students’ grade point average
• Altered social and linguistic behaviour

 

So there you have it.  Proof that my crazy rants are not for nothing.  Not only do they give me short-term relief, but they are also providing me long-term, valuable health benefits.  Cool!  The last time I was at the doctors my blood pressure was 112/70.  “Very good!” she said.  I think I will keep up with my blog and my crazy rants of expression and see what she has to say next time.