I am approaching the one year anniversary of my blog. I have grown a lot over the past 11 months. I have made many wonderful new contacts. I have learned to be more open and honest about my health – with myself, and with my family and friends. I understand more about the causes and contributing factors of Fibromyalgia. I could go on and on about my growth, but this post is not about me. This post is a celebration of you.

If you were to ask me the most important thing I am taking away from this past year, I would say YOU. From the members of my Meetup support group, to my blogging buddies, to my facebook friends and to my twitter team – everyday I am amazed by the quality people stricken with chronic illness – my chronic community.

You are not a passive bunch, you are passionate. Passionate to learn, and to share, and to heal. Passionate about your craft and your creativity. Passionate about your friends and family. Passionate about your causes and your concerns. And I want to honor your passion. Some of you may have read this list before, but I think it is worth sharing again. We can all use a reminder every once in a while about how valuable we are. And you are valuable – each and every one of you. Valuable, and so much more.

Who You Are

You are survivors.

You are scientists.

You are strong.

You are seekers.

You are smart.

You are sensitive.

You are stoic.

You are resilient.

You are resourceful.

You are artistic.

You are intuitive.

You are compassionate.

You are genuine.

You are proud.

You are beautiful.

You are passionate.

You are brave.

You are creative.

You are wise.

You are empaths.

You are private.

You are each different.

You are complicated.

You are connected.

You are givers.

You are a community.

You are family.

You are friends.

You love life and want to live it to the fullest.

You seek knowledge and understanding.

You appreciate empathy.

You have great senses of humor.

You have hope.

You are real.

You are much, much more than your illness.

Everyday you show me how valuable we all are. Everyday you impress me. Everyday you overwhelm me. And everyday you remind me that we are so much more than our illness. But just in case you do not always remember this yourself, look back over the list and take in all that you are. Pick out the ones that apply most to you, and really think about them. Focus on them for a few minutes. Say them over and over again in you mind. Be proud and say them out loud. Spend some time focusing on all that you are, not on all that you can no longer be. Your illness may be invisible, but you are not.

Last week I was happily munching on some watermelon while on twitter and I posted this: “Is watermelon good for me? It seems too indulgent to be healthy! Yummm…” It was meant as a lighthearted comment, but it created such a buzz of enthusiasm for watermelon I was overwhelmed. So many people responded with health info, recipe ideas and an overall love of this super-fruit. Just take a look at this great article someone sent me on the health benefits of watermelon. Good stuff.

On the 4th of July, my husband and I spent a fun and relaxing day with two other couples. After an awesome dinner we were treated to a heaping plate of watermelon. It stirred some lively conversations: Seeded vs seedless? Exactly where do the seeds go & how do you grow new watermelons if there are no seeds? How do you pick a great watermelon? What is the probability, knowing everything we now know about picking a good watermelon, that we will actually pick a great watermelon? (Two of our friends are math professors. After much computation, the answer they came up with is 40%. I chose to take their word for this). How many pieces of watermelon are too many? We had a lot of fun while we devoured that plate of watermelon and it fueled us for a great game of Taboo!

And then today I opened up the new issue of Costco Connection magazine and there it was again – Watermelon. Wally Amos (creator of The Famous Amos Chocolate Chip Cookie) writes an article for the Connection called Be Positive. Wally Amos is well known for being an inspirational speaker and for his positive attitude. In 2002 he wrote the Watermelon Credo, which has become the structure for many of his talks. According to Amos “it has been a guide that has helped others and me through rough times.” He shared his credo in the the Connection in the hope of helping us through these rough times, and now I would like to share it here for you:

Wally Amos’ Watermelon Credo

W – Whatever you believe creates your reality. Believe that life is a positive experience and it will be.

A – Attitude is the magic word. Your greatest asset is your attitude. Be positive regardless.

T – Together everyone achieves more. There are no limits to what we can accomplish together. I am more than I am but less than we are.

E -Enthusiasm is the wellspring of life. There is no limit to what can be accomplished with enough enthusiasm.

R – Respect yourself, as well as others. When you begin to respect yourself, your whole world changes.

M – Make commitments, not excuses. There is overwhelming power in the words “Yes I will!”

E – Everyday can be a fun day. Fun is the lubricant that keeps life moving forward. Laugh a lot.

L – Love is the answer. Whatever the question, Love is the answer. It is the greatest force in the Universe.

O – One day at a time. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. All of life happens in increments of one.

N- Never give up or become a victim. You are guaranteed to lose if you give up. Winston Churchill was right, “Never, never, never give up.” It works if you work it.

Watermelon is FUN, inspirational and a great reminder for us to always live life from our highest self. Do not allow yourself to be overwhelmed by events. Let watermelon remind you that you are larger than events. You have the power to create and change events by what you believe. – Wally Amos

Who knew watermelon could be so inspirational? The great and inspirational artist Frida Kahlo did when she painted this:

Viva la Vida

Last night I was on the verge of a flare-up. I was grumpy and frustrated and completely out of focus. Then my husband went to the kitchen and cut us up some watermelon. After chatting in the living room over our bowls of watermelon the next thing I knew I was feeling a little better. Maybe it was the health benefits of the watermelon, or maybe it was the change in my attitude. Maybe it was just coincidence, but somehow the flare-up was avoided.

After finding and reading the Watermelon Credo today, it is all seeming like more than just coincidence. I’m thinking we should all sit down with our loved ones over a bowl of watermelon tonight because T – Together everyone achieves more.

Kathy

Okay, I’m gonna grump all over this one. “Isolating if you let it”. I didn’t let it…it dragged me away from my life and I was kicking and screaming the whole way (ask my husband!).

I did not LET myself get isolated…my “friends” did not understand why my body quit and my brain departed and they, almost to the last one, bailed on me. Thank goodness for the Internet. I am much less isolated now, but still not enough face time to suit me.

Invisible Chronic Illness is isolating in and of itself. There’s no “letting” about it. If this “Awareness Day” accomplishes anything I hope it instills a bit of compassion and possibly some empathy in people like my former friends so no one else “lets” themselves be isolated.

Grump over. It’s a bathrobe day  lousy excuse. I may regret spouting off like that…but you hit a bit of a sore spot. Sorry.

By the way…I love seeing something new every time I check out your blog! No pressure to keep grinding away of course…

 

My Response

Grump away Kathy. That is what this space is for and you are certainly entitled. Besides, how boring would it be if everyone agreed with me all the time?

You are right, there is so much about Fibromyalgia that is depleting and that is out of our control. A lot of loss and adjustment to loss comes with it. But your argument changes the context of the point I was making when I said “isolating if you let it.” Yes, FM changes our lives dramatically, and we do lose a certain amount of control, but let me use my support group members to explain what I meant. We all still have the ability to make choices. FM did not strip us of that.

I have 53 members in my group. I do not advertise the group. You would have to take the time to research to find it. Then once you have put forth that effort, you will have to take the time to fill out a profile and submit it to me for approval (I do this to protect the privacy and integrity of the group. You would not believe how many marketers think it is okay to JOIN a group for people with chronic illness just to sell their product).

My point is that you really have to be ready to find support and connect with others with FM to join my group. So why go to all that trouble and then stop there? At some point you have to decide to attend a meeting. At some point you have to honor the commitment you made to yourself to connect with others like you and show up.

Each of us at the luncheon on Tuesday could have used Fibromyalgia as a reason to stay home. None of us felt great that day, but we made the choice to attend. We did not LET our Fibromyalgia symptoms stop us from what turned out to be a very fun and cathartic afternoon.

This is the dilemma I face with many of my members. They call and e-mail me with all sorts of intentions – they plan to come to the next meeting, they want to come to the next meeting, but they do not know how to break out of the pattern of isolation they have grown comfortable with. It is safe to stay home. Going out to meet a room full of people they don’t know feels like a risk. Fibromyalgia is extremely depleting, but it does not take away our ability to make choices. Even if it is just to spend a few minutes on an online chat room. We need to not give in to the isolation.

The more isolated someone is, the more they feel like they are the only one feeling so bad, the only one who has lost so much, the only one who understands.

At each meeting, over and over again I see the faces of my members light up as they chat with someone and realize that a symptom or frustration is shared with the other member. I am telling you, these meetings are never sad or depressing. It is more like a bunch of scientist making new and exciting discoveries. The sound of laughter is a constant at the meetings. Who couldn’t benefit from that?

So when I said “isolating if you let it,” that is what I had in mind. FM may limit our choices, but it does not eliminate them. Every day we have the opportunity to make many choices that can affect and improve our lives, and to a certain degree, remaining isolated is a choice.

P.S. Please do not regret spouting off. You made the choice to speak up and state your mind. I say good for you! It would have been easy to read what I wrote and get frustrated, but not leave a comment. Instead you broke the barrier and started a dialog. Very healthy and non-isolating of you!

Plus it gave me something to think about. Word choice is very important and something I should consider when writing my posts – so thanks!

Kathy

That was very eloquent FH (now how’s that for a nickname?). Thank you for “letting” me have my temper tantrum and turning it into a teaching moment.

I do see myself in what you wrote, but I also see a lot of hope for the future… I got beat down pretty hard by the collision between my past life and fibromyalgia. Most of the time I feel like I’ve gotten over it and moved on, but obviously I still have some sore spots. Ouch.

I think I am moving towards a brighter and less isolated future. Not many people get a “do over” like this…

And I guess I have some researching to do. Thanks!

My response

No research necessary. You are in!

When I read that you feel hope for the future, it makes me feel hope! There are no quick and easy answerers with FM, we are all pioneers really if you think about it. Not that long ago diseases like MS & arthritis were exactly where FM is today.

The key is to come together on our quest for wellness. Whether it is in person or online, we need to build and strengthen the FM community, first and foremost so that no one feels alone in their struggles. There will be days when we cannot participate, but if we let those days turn into weeks, weeks can turn into months… Somewhere in that isolation hope will be lost. I want everyone with FM to have hope!

Thanks so much for starting this conversation! You have inspired me and I plan to share our dialog in a blog post.

Kathy really did get me thinking, and yesterday I jumped on twitter with this question, “Just had an interesting exchange on my blog about isolation. Got me thinking. What are some good online communities to join?” I got a lot of great responses, so look for a post with online resources soon.

What are you thoughts on isolation? How do you combat it? Is it a problem for you? Let’s keep the conversation going.

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