It was several years ago now that my therapist tried to help me resolve my physical pain by dealing with my suppressed emotions. Ironically, her recommendation to me was to write. She believed that through the process of writing, my muscles would begin to let go of everything they had been storing. Unfortunately I did not get very far with her. Maybe I was not ready to hear her and understand then. Maybe the time was not right. But today as I sit here writing about it, I am so much more aware and accepting of where she was trying to guide me.

My muscles are full of emotions I have spent the last 40 years avoiding.

The pain is stored there because that is how I unconsciously chose to process it. I stuffed it deep down inside to avoid facing it, but it doesn’t just disappear, it simply manifests itself into a different kind of pain.

My muscles are inflamed and toxic because I did not have the skills to manage and deal with the crisis in the moment. Who does have the skills? They are not easy to acquire. I still do not have them, but I am working towards it. It may take me the next 40 years, but at least I am now aware.

Healing is not a simple process.

First we must really come to terms with the source of our pain. For the purpose of this post I am focusing on emotional pain, but as we all know there are many other components to our pain (trauma, infection, toxin, etc.) that make this process even more complicated.

So where do we start?

Again, there is no easy answer. Years ago I started in the most logical place, therapy, and yet it turned out not to be my actual starting point. I had years of stagnant suffering after that, waiting for my health to change, but not actively making the changes necessary for my health to improve.

Looking back on it now, I am learning from my time spent in therapy, but it made little difference in my life at the time.

My true starting point in understanding how my emotions have contributed to my pain is this blog. Writing here has allowed me to explore and examine myself in ways I never would have otherwise. It has allowed me to acquire new tools and resources to actively apply to my intention of wellness.

What does that mean?

Well it means I am no longer sitting on my couch with a tub of mashed potatoes, convincing myself that my misery entitles me to eat it. And it means that I am no longer waiting for better health to find me, I am actively seeking it out. And it means I am no longer discouraged by the many set backs, because I understand it took years for this damage to occur in my body, and it will take years for me to correct everything, but each step I take towards healing tips the balance to the path of wellness and a better life.

For me, the tools and resources I have acquired to deal with emotional pain are writing, yoga, and meditation. The combination of the three have given me a greater awareness of the mind-body connection, which I believe is essential for healing our emotional pain.

Yoga and meditation teach you to connect with and examine your body, scanning for places of tension and pain. They teach you to acknowledge and breathe into those places, and not ignore what you are storing there. It has been an amazing process of self-discovery, and both practices often leave me more emotional but less painful.

Writing is where I come to process everything. This is where I put the piece together and try to make sense of them. Without this blog, I am certain I would still be waiting for my health to change.

So how can you take what I have learned and apply it to your own path to wellness?

First, you have to be ready to take your journey. You have to be ready to do the work and the research to find the best tools and resources for you. Then you have to understand that it is a journey of endurance and not be discouraged by the inevitable setbacks. You have to believe that you are worth the effort and that better health is possible.

If you are not there yet, like I wasn’t not that long ago, keep reading, keep researching, don’t give up. Never give up! Better health is possible. Once you believe it is, your journey will begin.

On Wednesday night, two of my favorite dancers performed a routine that was choreographed to tell the story of a woman with breast cancer. I just have to share it with you. Like the Rob Thomas song Her Diamonds, this dance overwhelmed me. It is a tribute to breast cancer, not to Fibromyalgia, and yet I felt so connected to the character. Whether it is cancer or Fibromyalgia, suffering looks the same. She has moments of strength and grace in this dance, only to come crashing down in pain and despair. But then there is her partner, steady and strong, supporting her when and how she needs it. Everyone was moved by this dance – the audience, the judges and the dancers themselves. It is beautiful and a powerful form of expression. I just might trade in my blog to be able to dance like that.

Yesterday I participated in a very emotional support group meeting. We had an unusually small group which allowed for more personal and intimate conversation. It was not a depressing meeting, but instead it was a discovery into how traumatic events in our lives feed and contribute to the pain of Fibromyalgia. I struggled all evening after the meeting trying to process what was shared, and I am struggling as I sit here trying to write this post. Where do I begin to explore the connection between emotional trauma and pain? There is so clearly a connection. Can any of us ever be symptom free without fully exploring and coming to terms with our emotional traumas? What is the best way to do that? Therapy, meditation, EFT, hypnosis, writing, art, diet, exercise, drugs? I clearly do not have the answers and my head has been pounding with the pain of trying to figure it out.

I am feeling some responsibility as a support group leader to look for answers to this question and provide resources to my members so they can begin to heal their emotional wounds. So, anyone out there have any answers? Is this starting to sound like a cry for help and guidance? I think maybe it is! The thing about Fibromyalgia that makes it so hard to treat and so hard to explain is that even though we all share many of the same physical symptoms, the emotional component means that no two of us experience it in the same way. I store my abandonment issues in the muscles of my upper back, but she stores her traumatic and failed marriage in her shoulders, and he stores his 10 years in a violent job in his chest. Not only do we all store our pain differently, but we process it differently, and we respond to treatment differently. While writing helps me process, painting helps her, and singing helps him. Is your mind spinning now too? What do you do that helps you cope and process? And which came first, the pain or the emotion? Anyone?

In the past a lot of my meals would begin either low carb or gluten free, not because I was consciously avoiding carbs or gluten, but because that is what I wanted to eat. For instance, one of my favorite breakfasts to cook is scrambled eggs with ham, swiss & fresh spinach wilted in. My husband and I love this for breakfast. And after eating it we would both feel satisfied and energized, but without that “oh my gosh I ate too much” feeling. But here is where things are different now. In the past I might have eaten my eggs, been satisfied – but not full – so I would end my meal with a piece of buttered toast. It was like I did not recognize being full without feeling FULL. Does that make sense? For years my mind has been conditioned to associate the heaviness of feeling full with having eaten a complete meal. Since going gluten free I seldom get that heavy full feeling and I am satisfied for hours after eating. All of a sudden I am becoming aware of how much extra I was eating to satisfy my mental hunger. My body can clearly subsist on much less than I was providing it.

We talked a lot last week at my support group roundtable about the social and emotional component to eating. I associate food with a lot of different things. Mashed potatoes are my go to comfort food when I am emotional. I ate a lot of mashed potatoes when recovering from my accident, which goes a long way in explaining my 17lb weight gain. Homemade spaghetti and meatballs is the one dish that is sure to bring my entire family together, and there better be a big pot because we come hungry and eat a lot! And thank goodness there are no Original Tommy’s Burgers where I live, because every time I see one I want to pull over and order a plate of chili cheese fries, because that is what I would eat with my friends at 2 AM after we had spent the evening drinking and dancing. All of these “bad for me” foods make me feel good when I think about the memories I associate to them.

At our meeting one of my members suggested I start a Food Mood Diary. For years she has been charting what she eats with how she feels, and she has been able to clearly identify patterns between her Fibromyalgia symptoms and the food she consumes. For instance, she expects and prepares herself for a flare-up at the first of the year based on the rich foods she eats from Thanksgiving to Christmas. When she said this, a lot of us nodded our heads, remembering how awful we feel around the holidays and first of the year. But even on a smaller day-to-day scale she is able to determine what foods attribute to which feelings and symptoms. It makes sense. And now that I am becoming more aware of what I am eating and how I am feeling, I think it would be a good time for me to begin a diary of my own.

As I mentioned before, I do not believe that everyone with Fibromyalgia is also gluten intolerant, but I do believe that what we eat and drink plays a large role in the severity and frequency of our symptoms. It is common sense that eating vegetables makes us feel better than eating fried foods, but often the emotional or social component of eating outweighs the common sense component. Maybe by charting mood with food, it will be easier to make that connection and begin to make the healthy food choice. You can be sure I will be sharing with you all of my successes and failures and I am interested in hearing any of your own.

From Dr. David Shores, DC

A Comprehensive Holistic Approach To Fibromyalgia And Chronic Pain

Dannette from Fibromyalgia Haven asked me to write a guest article for her site when I spoke at her fibromyalgia support group in January.

Having worked with many fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue and chronic pain patients I thought I would share a recent case to demonstrate what I find and how I proceed.

Late December 08 a new patient presented to my office with the diagnosis of fibromyalgia that began in 04. Her primary complaint was severe muscle and joint pain. She also reported severe joint swelling in all the major joints of her body and water retention. Her joint pain and swelling was at it’s worst in the morning. She had a history of multiple traumas. Neurologic testing showed multiple cervical and lumbar nerve compressions. Bio-response testing showed multiple severe heavy metal toxicity, more than seven chronic infections and several vitamin deficiencies along with several structural problem.

We supplemented her with the deficient vitamins only and gave her a nutritional supplement to chelate or remove the heavy metals and a nutritional supplement to aid her body in clearing the infections. She was monitored weekly and adjusted with an instrument  to handle the structural and neurological problems. As of today 2/2/09 she reports that her symptoms are eighty percent resolved with virtually all of the morning stiffness and pain gone. We expect further improvement as she continues on her program.

I find this case to be typical of many with fibromyalgia. In most cases there are a multitude of problems including structural, toxins, nutritional, infection and emotional. When the problems are addresed in the correct order and with great care, many with chronic pain improve tremendously. For more information please go to www.drshores.typepad.com

David Shores DC

1524 Encinitas Blvd

Encinitas, Ca 92024

760-753-4300

Disclaimer: This information is for education purposes only. The doctor does not diagnose or treat any medical conditions. The doctors goal is to restore proper function and thus restore self healing.

Personally I was very interested in Dr. Shores’ approach. It makes sense to me (especially after listening to his comprehensive presentation) that Fibromyalgia can stem from “a multitude of problems including structural, toxins, nutritional, infection and emotional.” A lot of my current research is based on what I learned from Dr. Shores, i.e heavy metal toxicity (post coming soon). As part of my unending quest to improve my health I will be working with Dr. Shores. I will write regular posts about my sessions and my response to his treatment in an effort to help us all benefit from his knowledge and expertise.

Thank you for your time and contribution Dr. Shores.