Sometimes they happen when, after several days of feeling good, I wake up in the kind of pain that is impossible to reason. Or they happen when I reflect on how long I have been sick, and how long it is going to take me to heal. Sometimes they happen for no specific reason at all. I just get tired of the work, tired of the journey, and I just want to stop.

But I don’t stop – for too long anyway. And the thing that propels me forward and makes me keep showing up is this – the moments.

There are moments in our lives, moments that when they happen make us say: “Ah-ha, this is it! This is what it is all about.” Sometimes they happen when I am on my yoga mat and all the pieces come together and I feel nothing but joy. Or they happen at a support group function when I see a member’s face transform from agony to acceptance over the course of the evening. They can happen in a phone call, or from an email, or an exchange on facebook. They happen all the time. We just have to be aware and present to receive them.

Yesterday I scheduled a last minute group meditation at the Chopra Center. It is something we do together once a month, but I missed the one earlier this month, so I scheduled an extra one just for me. As I was heading out the door, for a moment, I had the urge not to go. It had been a long day – 2 1/2 hours of yoga teacher training followed by 90 minutes of gentle yoga at the YMCA. I was tired, and could easily have stayed home, especially since no other members had signed up to go. But I showed up – for me – because meditation nourishes me, and I was pleased to be joined by another member at the last minute.

Group meditation can be powerful, taking you much deeper into your practice, but it can also create unique challenges. A few minutes after we were seated in meditation, a late-comer burst in the door, literally crashed into the chairs, and then took about 3 minutes to get settled. THEN the very loud band started playing at the nearby restaurant (end of summer festivities). AND THEN the very loud late-comer began snoring and snorting! At one point I had to focus very hard to keep from laughing out loud at the absurdity of it all!

It is the most distracted I have ever been during a meditation, and yet I still felt restored by it. Walking back to my car I realized I was not nearly as fatigued as when I arrived. I am certain I was not in deep meditation for too long because of all the distractions, but however much I did was enough. I am so glad I showed up. If I had stayed home I would have been feeding my fatigue rather than nourishing myself. And it was great spending some one on one time with a member who need some guidance.

So all in all, there were several moments last night to keep me going – and keep me laughing. I cherish those moments, and that is why I keep showing up – because you just never know when one will appear.

Sometimes I try to set grandiose intentions – freedom from all pain, anxiety, and conflict in my life, from here until eternity. Sure, that can happen in an hour. Usually, I am still staring at the blank slate of my mind when the instructor has moved on, so I just skip setting my intention. But then I am left feeling like I missed out on an opportunity.

Today the opportunity came up again; “What is your intention?” And out of nowhere it came to me – Just let go. That was it. That simple. My intention was to let go. No more focusing on what I thought should be happening or what I might be missing out on, just be in the moment and experience it. And experience it I did. It was my best practice by far. My focus was completely on my body, the movement, and what I was experiencing. I found myself more stable and comfortable in poses that are normally problematic for me. My balance was greater. My range of motion was better. My focus was clearer. I found a wonderful balance between effort and ease. It really was a joyful practice.

At the end of each session we get into my favorite pose – savasana. That is the time where it all comes together for me. I can feel how my muscles have loosened and elongated. I can feel how the tension has left my neck and upper back. It is a time of complete joy and peace for me – my favorite part of every practice. Today I felt especially connected to everything; to the mat beneath me, to the music swirling through my body, to my breath as it expanded my abdomen and sustained me from the inside. If I didn’t discover that ancient yoga secret today, then there isn’t one.

And how simple really, I just let go and let myself be in the moment instead of in my head. Now really, isn’t this a concept we can apply to every aspect of our lives. How much less stressful would life be if we could learn to let go of what we believe is expected of us, and just be who we are in every given moment? I am probably the least flexible person in most of my yoga classes, but each stretch benefits me just as much as it does my 60 year-old neighbor who can reach her toes with ease. I need to remember that.

Today was a great experience of just letting go, but it took me many yoga practices to get there. It is something I am going to have to continue practicing too. Practice letting go. Practice being in the moment. Practice acceptance of where you are, and then you can work on reaching where you want to be. I want to touch my toes with ease one day, but it will never happen if I don’t practice.