Fall is the perfect time for comfort food, and if your meal can be comforting and healthy all the better!
Since going gluten-free over a year ago, there have been very few sandwiches on my menu, but then I discovered Johann’s Bakery. Johann’s is a 100% dedicated gluten-free facility in Vista California, where they bake 100% gluten-free breads. If you have ever eaten pre-baked gluten-free breads you understand they are generally disappointing. Not Johann’s! Think high quality artisan bread – soft, firm, with a pleasing taste and texture. Delicious!
So this was dinner last night.
I have been eating a meatless diet for the past several weeks. The traditional yogi diet is vegetarian or vegan. Growing up in a meat-and-potato family, meat has always been the cornerstone of most meals I prepare, especially dinner. I have easily embraced a meatless diet and am enjoying exploring the many vegetarian options for meal planning.
I found the recipe for this amazing Pumpkin Miso soup at The Veggie Table. They have many great recipes, including several pumpkin offerings – perfect for the fall holiday season.
For the grilled cheese sandwiches I sliced a fresh vine-ripe tomato and used a combination of swiss and cheddar cheese with just a little butter to help brown the bread slices.
There is a difference of opinion among vegetarians about the consumption of dairy and eggs. Some believe as long as you do not eat meat, you are considered a vegetarian. Others believe if you eat eggs and dairy you cannot call yourself a vegetarian. Personally, I am not concerned about the label “vegetarian” and choose to continue eating eggs and dairy.
I made the decision to eliminate meat from my diet for many reasons – health, environment, animal cruelty – but the primary reason for my decision was food preference. As I mentioned, I grew up in a meat-and-potato family. I married into a meat-and-potato family. I ate meat for 41 years because it is all I have ever known, but I have always had an underlying distaste for meat, in fact sometimes it just completely grossed me out!
I have never been comfortable with handling raw meat, especially raw chicken. I would use tongs to avoid touching the meat and make faces as I cut and seasoned it. Often it would carry over to my eating experience. I think intuitively I have always been a non-meateater. In fact when I told my mom about my decision to stop eating meat, she told me that if I had been allowed to follow my food preferences as a child I probably never would have eaten meat.
It took me 41 years to embrace my personal food preferences. Going gluten-free was out of necessity and my health has improved as a result, but eliminating meat is a personal choice – although there are also tremendous health benefits to this choice. The main thing both changes have reinforced in me is that food matters.
At some level we all intuitively know what foods are best for our bodies, we just need to be self-aware enough to listen to our intuition. You do not need to be gluten-free or a vegetarian to be mindful of what you eat. Just eat real food that nourishes you and eliminate or reduce what does not. It is that simple.
Miso Soup with Pumpkin and Onion
Yield: 2-4 servings
Time: 30 minutes
Tools: Medium saucepan or wok with lid, Wooden spoon, Small strainer
Ingredients:
2 T peanut or canola oil
1 medium onion, thinly sliced
2 t curry powder (optional)
2 c or 3/4 lbs fresh pumpkin, peeled and cubed
4 c vegetable stock
2 1/2 to 4 T miso
3-4 shiso leaves shredded or 2 T cilantro chopped
Directions:
Heat oil over medium heat. Add onion and sauté, stirring frequently, until translucent, about 5 minutes.
Optional: add curry powder and sauté for 30 seconds more.
Stir in pumpkin, then add stock. Bring to a boil, cover, lower heat, and let simmer 10-15 minutes, until pumpkin is just tender.
Place miso in strainer, lower into soup, and use spoon to force miso through into the soup.
Remove from heat, stir, sprinkle with shiso or cilantro and serve.
It has been too long since my last Things I Love post, which is ironic considering I am in the midst of one of the most loving times of my life and this is my place to write about all things I love. The time I am spending focusing on my health is restoring me, but I have missed writing here. I am determined to find a balance and get back to one of the things that has always centered and nourished me – writing.
Writing is a passion I can always remember having. When I was a young girl we lived in a very old house. My bedroom walls were covered with many layers of wallpaper. On a particular wall in my room there was a small hole hidden under the thick layers of wallpaper. I would sit and write letters about my inner most thoughts and feelings, and then I would neatly fold my letters and tuck them deep inside my bedroom walls. Thought after thought, and letter after letter rested inside those walls. For all I know the letters are still there.
Each letter I wrote helped me to release my fears, anxieties, and depressions. They gave me hope and made me feel connected to a source greater than myself. I always felt powerful and connected after writing my letters, although at the time I could not have expressed who or what I was connecting to. In fact I would address my letter to the unseen and all-knowing To Whom it May Concern. It gave me a sense of comfort to believe that there was someone/something that was concerned.
When I began this blog just over two years ago, in a sense it became that little hole in the wall for me – my space to share and process all my thoughts, fears, failures, triumphs, and epiphanies. And each of you became my To Whom it May Concern. And to my surprise my letters did not sit unnoticed. You took notice, whether you responded with a comment or a personal email, or even just read my letters and moved on, you have been here and given me the strength to continue writing. It has been a beautiful thing in my life, the catalyst really for my healing, and I thank you!
So when I am asked by FibroHaven members if I think they would benefit from starting a blog, my answer is always an emphatic YES! Whether you are passionate about writing or not, it is one of the most therapeutic things we can do. The benefits are endless.
From Health Benefits of Journal Writing, by Felice Willat
Marlene A. Schiwy, in her book A Voice of Her Own, talks about the healing dimensions of journal writing: “To create wholeness in our lives is to heal ourselves. Healing comes from the same root as whole and holiness. It is the attainment of wholeness of body, mind, emotions and spirit. For many women, The journal provides a gentle setting in which healing can take place. It offers one place where literally and symbolically, all of the pieces of one’s life finally come together.” And Lucia Cappaccione, author of The Well Being Journal, recognizes that illness can be a great teacher from within. “The most important message I learned from my disease is that the healing process is activated by a spiritual force that resides within. A journal can be a ‘living textbook’ for learning the lessons that the illness has to teach.”
I have learned so much about myself over the past two years of blogging about my illness. This is where it all began. FibroHaven – my little hole in the wall!
Whether you are inspired to begin a blog, or simply take up journaling, I encourage you to write, not just about your symptoms and your daily activities, but primarily about your inner thoughts and feelings. Research has shown that writing about your experiences reduces physical symptoms in patients with chronic illnesses, and isn’t that the goal for each of us. You find yourself here reading my thoughts because you are actively looking for ways to improve your quality of life. So – sit down, make yourself comfortable, and write about it!
It has been nearly two months since I started my yoga teacher training program and I have learned so much.
The Benefits:
Yoga heals. A recent study on yoga for fibromyalgia conducted at Oregon Health & Science University confirms what I have been experiencing since beginning my yoga practice 18 months ago – “yoga appears to assist in combating a number of serious fibromyalgia symptoms, including pain, fatigue, stiffness, poor sleep, depression, poor memory, anxiety and poor balance. All of these improvements were shown to be not only statistically but also clinically significant, meaning the changes were large enough to have a practical impact on daily functioning. For example, pain was reduced in the yoga group by an average of 24 percent, fatigue by 30 percent and depression by 42 percent.”
Yoga is a joyful practice, and the results are undeniable as is clearly demonstrated in my own personal experience and the above referenced study. I cannot say it enough. Yoga heals!
I can, and am getting better! I am not only feeling physically stronger, I am also feeling mentally and spiritually stronger. I have hope. I have joy. I have peace. I have a new love and enthusiasm for life that I have not experienced in many years.
We are not alone in our suffering. One of the unexpected benefits of the teacher training program is the camaraderie I have found with the other students. Suffering is not unique to fibromyalgia, and the program has reminded me of this. Each of the students was drawn to yoga from a different need, and listening to the stories of others has helped me understand how universal suffering is, which has allowed me to let go of the limiting belief that anything I am experiencing is unique or unusual.
I do not have to accept the level of suffering I have been living with for 14 years. Suffering is found in more than just the physical manifestation of FM. It can also appear as self-judgement and criticism, guilt and regret, isolation and silence. These are all conditions we create in response to our illness, but they are also conditions we can change. As we being to improve our mental and emotional suffering, our physical suffering improves naturally – and vice versa. Love yourself. Be kind and gentle to yourself. Embrace your body’s natural ability to renew and restore. It can and it will if you nurture it properly. You are worth the effort!
The Challenges:
I still have symptoms and must remember to continue to listen to my body and honor what I am feeling. I experience so much joy in movement, but given the neurological nature of FM, it is possible and even likely to over do it and trigger a flare. It is not in the practice of yoga that I find myself overdoing it, but in the routine of my daily life. Because I have so much more energy and much less pain, it is easy to get carried away and take on too much. I do not want to slip back into the unhealthy patterns that lead up to and contributed to the severity of my FM – always on the go, saying yes to everything and everyone, never slowing down to enjoy the moment and breathe! But the good news is that when I do experience the symptoms of a flare, they are shorter and less intense. I recover more quickly. I am hopeful that the 2 week and 2 month flares are behind me!
Taken in Sedona AZ after a 3 hour hike - something I could not have done just one year ago.
If I had to nail down the one thing that has benefited me the most, it would be the understanding that I can and do control my health. Fibromyalgia is a very real condition, but that does not mean it is a permanent condition. We have options, and there are things we can do and lifestyle changes we can make that will diminish the symptoms we experience. I have no idea if I will ever completely eliminate the symptoms I experience, but I am continuing to improve and better my quality of life. If I only improve to the percentages stated in the study above, that is enough improvement for me. But I believe I will improve much more!
As much as I want each one of you to experience the same improvements I am, I understand that we all must take our own journeys. Yoga may not be your exercise of choice, and that is okay, as long as you choose something that improves your health and slowly betters your quality of life. Did I mention it has taken me 18 months to get to where I am? It does not happen overnight, and it certainly has not been a straight line from my first yoga class to the teacher training program I am in today. If I had to map it out it would make us all dizzy! But there has been a lot of joy in the journey so far, and I have a lot of motivation to continue on, regardless of the obstacles and dangerous turns ahead.
Make the choice – choose to improve, choose an exercise you love, choose to feed your body the foods that nourish and heal, choose to love and forgive yourself, choose to love and forgive others, choose health. It is possible. The choice is yours!
If one advances confidently in the direction of their dream, endeavoring to live the life they are imagining, he will put somethings behind. He will pass the invisible boundary. ~Emerson
I dream of being whole. I dream of healing. I dream of living with passion and with purpose and without pain. I am not there yet, but I am headed confidently in that direction.
After one month of yoga teacher training, I am certain I am on the right path. In this short time I have learned that although suffering exists, so too does happiness, and I have the ability to nurture my happiness, which in turn diminishes my suffering.
I have learned there are specific causes of suffering I have control over – what I eat, what I think, how I react. I can choose to nurture rather than deplete. We can all make this choice.
I am learning to live a mindful life – mindful of how I contribute to my suffering. Awareness is key. I am aware of my suffering, and aware that in me is the ability to acknowledge suffering while not living in suffering. It is imperative that I acknowledge my suffering if I ever hope to move past it. I can never understand a part of myself that I ignore or that I deny. Cessation of suffering comes only with awareness.
With awareness our actions are liberating and creative. When we are unmindful, we become caught in our conditioning and reactivity, and this conditioned reactivity keeps us bound to the cycle of suffering. ~Frank Jude Boccio, Mindfulness Yoga
I have been aware of the physical benefits of yoga for some time. That is why I made the decision to enroll in teacher training – I knew it would continue to help me heal, and in turn I could continue to inspire others to do the same. But I was not expecting the spiritual growth I am now experiencing. I was not mindful – but I am heading confidently in that direction.
Yoga is mind-body-spirit.
Yoga is all encompassing.
Yoga is life.
Yoga is gently leading me through the invisible boundaries.
There are times in this journey of mine that I am simply tired and depleted, and I have brief moments of defeat when I think – “What is this all about? Why do I bother? Who am I kidding?”
Sometimes they happen when, after several days of feeling good, I wake up in the kind of pain that is impossible to reason. Or they happen when I reflect on how long I have been sick, and how long it is going to take me to heal. Sometimes they happen for no specific reason at all. I just get tired of the work, tired of the journey, and I just want to stop.
But I don’t stop – for too long anyway. And the thing that propels me forward and makes me keep showing up is this – the moments.
There are moments in our lives, moments that when they happen make us say: “Ah-ha, this is it! This is what it is all about.” Sometimes they happen when I am on my yoga mat and all the pieces come together and I feel nothing but joy. Or they happen at a support group function when I see a member’s face transform from agony to acceptance over the course of the evening. They can happen in a phone call, or from an email, or an exchange on facebook. They happen all the time. We just have to be aware and present to receive them.
Yesterday I scheduled a last minute group meditation at the Chopra Center. It is something we do together once a month, but I missed the one earlier this month, so I scheduled an extra one just for me. As I was heading out the door, for a moment, I had the urge not to go. It had been a long day – 2 1/2 hours of yoga teacher training followed by 90 minutes of gentle yoga at the YMCA. I was tired, and could easily have stayed home, especially since no other members had signed up to go. But I showed up – for me – because meditation nourishes me, and I was pleased to be joined by another member at the last minute.
Group meditation can be powerful, taking you much deeper into your practice, but it can also create unique challenges. A few minutes after we were seated in meditation, a late-comer burst in the door, literally crashed into the chairs, and then took about 3 minutes to get settled. THEN the very loud band started playing at the nearby restaurant (end of summer festivities). AND THEN the very loud late-comer began snoring and snorting! At one point I had to focus very hard to keep from laughing out loud at the absurdity of it all!
It is the most distracted I have ever been during a meditation, and yet I still felt restored by it. Walking back to my car I realized I was not nearly as fatigued as when I arrived. I am certain I was not in deep meditation for too long because of all the distractions, but however much I did was enough. I am so glad I showed up. If I had stayed home I would have been feeding my fatigue rather than nourishing myself. And it was great spending some one on one time with a member who need some guidance.
So all in all, there were several moments last night to keep me going – and keep me laughing. I cherish those moments, and that is why I keep showing up – because you just never know when one will appear.