I am thankful.

I am thankful for my smart, funny and charming husband. I am thankful for the years he selflessly held us together while never making me feel inadequate. I am thankful for his companionship, his commitment to our partnership, and his unending loyalty, support, and love.

I am thankful for my parents. For all the words of wisdom and encouragement when I need them most. For instilling in me the belief that there is nothing I can’t do. For loving me unconditionally. For letting me find my own way, but always being there for me when I need them.

I am thankful for my sis. For checking in on me nearly every day to see how I am doing – regardless of what is going on in her life. I am thankful that she loves me completely without expecting anything in return. I am thankful for our sister lunches and the quality time we spend together.

I am thankful for all my family – My Granny, Aunts, Uncles, Nieces, Nephews, Cousins, and for the family I married into. I scored with my in-laws! I understand how fortunate I am to have such a loving extended family, and I am very thankful for each and every one of them.

I am thankful for my friends – old & new. My friends who know me sometimes better than my family. My friends who love and support me regardless of what I am able to contribute to our friendship. My friends who understand when I need to cancel a lunch date or head home early from an evening out. I am thankful for my awesome friends!

I am thankful for my new job, and for my new boss for seeing in me the potential to shine in his company, and for giving me the tools to do so. I am going to be a rockstar!

I am thankful for my Casey girl. I miss her so much this Thanksgiving. The first one without her in 14 years. I will miss her big soulful brown eyes pleading with me to share some Thanksgiving dinner. I will miss the way she greets all of our guests with joyful abandon. I will miss the gentle way she had with my Granny. I will miss the sound of her snoring after a long day of socializing with family. I miss her a lot – and am so thankful for the years we had together.

I am thankful for our current crazy critters – all four of them – and their unique and joyful personalities. Life is not dull around here.

I am thankful for the warm cup of coffee I am currently sipping, the fuzzy slippers on my feet, the blue sky out my window, and the waves crashing on the beach just down the street.

I am thankful for the potential of today and the promise of tomorrow.

I am thankful for the swirl of words in my head, and for my cold but nimble fingers that eagerly guide them to this page.

I am thankful for this page, and the many other pages that make up my blog. I am thankful for FibroHaven, in all its components.

And I am thankful for you! Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. It is a greater honor to me than you will ever know. Thank you if you have ever left a comment. Thank you if we have connected on twitter or facebook. Thank you for allowing my voice into your life.

Finally, I am thankful for everything that has happened in my life to lead me exactly where I am today – full of potential and promise.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I think you will be noticing a change in the tone of FibroHaven. For the past year I have been writing about all the changes I have made to improve my health – yoga, nutrition, support group, writing, etc.. Now that I am a working girl again, we will get to see first hand how much I have improved and what I need to do to maintain my current level of health.

After my first week I am feeling pretty good. I am back in sales. It is what I know and what I have done well for many years. I am really excited about the company I am with now. Very smart, professional internet marketing firm. Great potential for me as long as I do the work and maintain my health. And that is exactly what I plan to do.

I think what I am most concerned about is maintaining balance in my life. For example, I did not make it to yoga this week. My body is letting me know loud and clear that I need to get to a class soon. I have a lot of motivation to make that happen.

I didn’t realize how much I missed being a working professional. I love getting dressed up, getting motivated during sales meetings, going out and meeting with clients and strategizing with them on business opportunities. It is a completely different kind of satisfaction than the satisfaction I have experienced with FibroHaven – plus I get paid for it! Bonus!

I know I am in the honeymoon period with my new career. I know there will be days when I will feel awful and either have to push through it or take the time to recover. But it feels great to contribute again, and it feels even better to know that I did the work to prepare myself to go back to work. I made the changes and the choices that I knew would benefit me. I made the commitment to myself to take back a measurable amount of control of my health and my life.

When I signed on with my new company, I did so as a long-term commitment. But FibroHaven is my long-term commitment too. I plan to document my progress here, sharing what is working and what is not. Discecting what I can do better, and continuing to explore the many alternative and holistic options for better health and wellbeing. I am putting different stresses on my body now, so I may require different tools – like acupuncture. I have always believed I would benefit from acupuncture but could never afford it. Now maybe I can. It is like investing in a good business suit. Neccessary!

So yes, the tone here will be changing – but the voice will remain the same – all me. I will have some big decisions to make about my support group too. That may be a commitment I cannot continue, but there is time to figure that out. I have time. I have options. I have hope.

I saw this great quote on facebook the other day and I put it in my status:

I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can’t make it through one door, I’ll go through another door – or I’ll make a door. Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present. ~ Rabindranath Tagore

There is always a door. One way or another, there is always a door.

I am an adventurous cook. I experiment with ingredients and flavors, seldom making the same dish twice. My husband always encourages me to write my recipes down, but I much prefer to “wing it” and see what tasty concoction I can create next.

All the things that make me a spirited chef, make me a horrible baker. I simply have no tolerance for carefully measured preciseness. I learned long ago that baking is not my forte, and I avoid it accordingly.

That being said, I recently discovered the easiest and most delicious Gluten Free Peanut Butter Cookie recipe that even this girl can master. Simple, simple, simple!

Ingredients

• 1 egg
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 cup peanut butter, any kind
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 cup chocolate chips (optional)

Directions

• Preheat oven to 350º. Prepare pans: line with aluminum foil or parchment paper, or oil generously.
• Put all ingredients into food processor and pulse until well blended. Or mix thoroughly by hand.
• Make dough into (about) 36 evenly sized balls. Arrange balls on prepared pans leaving an inch or so between them. Add chocolate chips, if using, lightly pressing one or two into the top of cookie.
• Bake until they flatten out a bit and start to brown – 12 to 15 minutes.
• Remove from oven and leave on sheet for several minutes, until they begin to firm up, then carefully remove to cooling rack

Yum, yum, yum!

But this adventure chef could not leave well enough alone!

Gluten free cookies are great, but I wanted sugar free as well (link between sugar consumption and chronic pain), so I substituted 3/4 cup Agave Nectar for 1 cup sugar (adding the chocolate chips adds sugar, so leave them off if you want sugar free cookies). To compensate for substituting a liquid for a dry ingredient, I added 1 tablespoon of Bob’s Red Mill Gluten Free Baking Flour.

The result was a moist, chewy, peanut buttery delight! I baked the cookies Friday evening to take to a Halloween party on Saturday. The cookies were a big hit! If I had not told them they were gluten and sugar free, I doubt anyone would have known.

Cookie Disclaimer

Just because something is gluten and sugar free does not mean that it is nutritionally good for you. But this is the time of year we all know we are going to indulge a little. So if we are not always going to make the best possible choices, we can at least minimize some of the indulgence. And with this recipe, you won’t even realize you are making a sacrifice.

Week two of the Pain Coping Skills research study.

Following up on the Progressive Relaxation guided technique of week one, in week two we learned a simple and useful technique called Mini-Practices.

Mini-Practices

For relaxation to benefit you the most, you need to learn how to relax and calm yourself upon your command. This skill can be very helpful when you are feeling increased tension or pain, but are unable to go to a secluded area to do progressive relaxation.

To Do a Mini-Practice:

1. Stop yourself in whatever you are doing
2. Take a deep breath
3. Say the word “relax” to yourself
4. Slowly exhale
5. As you exhale  focus on the sensations of relaxation
6. Allow your jaws to relax, allow sensations of heaviness to flow downward from your shoulders throughout your body
7. After 30 seconds go back to what you were doing – regardless of how well you have succeeded in relaxing

Reminders to do Mini-Practices

Your goal is to do about 5 mini-practices the first day and then gradually build up to about 20 mini-practices a day over the next few weeks. You can remind yourself to do a mini-practice in many different ways. Some people do a mini-practice every time they feel annoyed or tense. Other people do one every time they stop at a stop light or pick up the telephone. You can remind yourself to do a mini-practice by placing adhesive “dots” around the house (by the door, near your mirror) or on personal belongings (such as a watch, or pocketbook). Every time you see a “dot” you will be reminded to do a mini-practice.

It doesn’t matter how you choose to remind yourself to relax, what is important is that you practice frequently. Little by little you can develop a habit of keeping yourself relaxed throughout the day.

Learning to relax really is a skill. We live in a constant state of flight or fight. Learning to shut that down, even if it is only for 30 second increments is a powerful tool.

After practicing this technique for a week I can say it is something we should all learn and add to our coping skills toolbox. I have not counted to confirm that I am up to 20 mini-practices a day, but the cumulative affect of the number I am doing is very positive. I have a greater feeling of control over my emotions and enjoy the short sensations of relaxation. They are kind of addicting! I find myself doing one each time I wash my hands – and I am compulsive hand washer.

Try it for yourself. It is such a simple and useful technique there really is no reason not to try it. The researcher did mention that some people have an aversion to the word “relax” (feels too harsh), and if this is the case with you, it is perfectly acceptable to find your own word – chill, easy, breath, etc.

Be sure to get yourself a pack of the adhesive dots. They are a fun and useful way to remind yourself to relax.

Did you miss me?

This time of transition in my life has been trying to say the least. An emotional roller coaster would be a better way to describe it. One second I am excited by possibilities and the next second I am crushed with defeat. Sounds a lot like life doesn’t it?

It just so happens that a research study I was slated to participate in months ago started up last week. It is a local study on yoga and cognitive coping skills for the treatment of Fibromyalgia. I was hoping to end up in the cognitive group since I already have a good handle on the yoga, and  since the trials of this past month have left me in serious need of some coping skills. Fortunately that is exactly where I ended up.

Last week was our first session and we spent most of the two hours getting to know everyone in the group. Then we proceeded on to the first of the eight Pain Coping Skills we will be learning over the course of the study. Progressive Relaxation is a guided technique. While laying or seated in a comfortable position, we followed the directive of the study leader and proceeded with a focused tightening and relaxing of targeted muscles.

Starting from our heads and working our way down, we slowly and purposefully tightened and relaxed major muscle groups. It was a controlled and relaxing exercise. Before we began we rated several of our symptoms on a sliding scale – pain, fatigue, brain fog. At the end of the exercise we were asked to rate our symptoms again.

I think everyone agreed it was  relaxing and we all felt somewhat restored. But for me it did not elevate my pain. Some of my muscles that had been burning – like my upper back between my shoulder blades – did experience relief, but then other muscles where my pain was more sharp and focused seemed more painful after. It is hard to tell whether the pain actually increased from the movements or if I simply became more aware of it when the overriding burning pain subsided.

Our homework was to repeat the exercise twice a day listening to a DVD recorded by the lead researcher. My homework left me with the same experience. So I suppose I would say for me it is a good technique for burning pain, but not so good for sharp, stabbing pain.

This week we are learning a new technique, and so on throughout the eight weeks of the study. Their hope is that one, two or maybe even all eight of the skills they teach us will help us and be implemented into our daily routines. That is my hope too!

My second hope is that I will be able to continue on with the study after I have started working again. It is a possibility that it will conflict and I won’t be able to complete the eight weeks. That would be a disappointment, but I will worry about it when the time comes.

For now, I will continue on and report here what we are doing and whether or not it is helping me.

Do you have any experience with Cognitive Coping Skills/Behaviors? I would love for you to share your experience with it. Was it helpful to you? Do you continue to practice the skills you learned? Do you practice daily or do you target your practice depending on your symptoms?