Simply beautiful.

FibroHaven is having a special Healing Clinic for members in the Southern California area. I wish I could spread the love to each and every one of you, but just know this event is in everyone’s honor, and with the intention of bringing as much healing and awareness as I can to my local community.

What: FM Awareness Day Free Healing Clinic

Where: Inner Strength Yoga & Healing Center
2124 El Camino Real, ste 202
Oceanside, CA 92054

When: 5-7Pm, Saturday May 12, 2012

Cost: Free

Details: Come and experience the natural healing energy of Reiki & Restorative Yoga

In honor of National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day, Inner Strength Yoga & Healing Center, in conjunction with FibroHaven Support Foundation, is offering free, 30-min healing sessions. In these sessions Reiki energy will be combined with restorative poses – on a massage table or on a yoga mat – for a relaxing and restorative experience.

The clinic will be structured in four, 30-minute healing sessions. Please email dannette@fibrohaven.com in advance to request your time:

5PM – 12 spots available
5:30PM - 12 spots available
6PM - 12 spots available
6:30PM - 12 spots available

Spaces will be given to those with a registration first. Remaining spaces will be on a first come, first served basis – maximum of 12 people per session.

May 12 is nationally recognized as the day to help increase support, awareness, and understanding of Fibromyalgia. Please join us for this special event, hosted by Dannette Rusnak, founder of FibroHaven, life coach, yoga instructor and reiki practitioner at Inner Strength Yoga & Healing Center.

To reserve your spot, email: dannette@fibrohaven.com

Here are just a few of your comments:

“My daughter called to tell me about the article. It was good for her to hear about FM from someone else. The more voices talking about our issues, the better. Thank you and thank Woman’s Day.”  ~Susan

“Happy congratulations! I imagine when one’s mission is to “inspire and encourage,” it’s an invitation for divine blessings on such profound work. Thank you for all you do for all of us. When I was first diagnosed in 1995, there was so little out there and most of it was alarmist. People like you continue to bring awareness, education and encouragement in a world that continues to tell us it’s in our heads.” ~Rose

“I went to my mailbox the other day and there was my Woman’s Day magazine. It sat on my coffee table. I was in a bad flare and feeling down. I felt too tired to even read. I finally did read it and was so excited and encouraged to see an article on chronic illness. It was just what I needed to hear. I have had fibromyalgia for twenty years and am the same age as you. I will be following you by email. Thank you for sharing your journey.” ~Tanya

“So excited to find your blog after reading your Woman’s Day article! It touched on a shift in my mindset as I have become older. I found myself fighting against myself as I tried to remain “normal.” I now have come to accept myself and my body and focus on what I can do. Please know that your words are having such a great and positive impact on those living with fibromyalgia! God bless you!!” ~Angela

“Great article in Woman’s Day! You really gave a voice to us suffering from fibromyalgia. Thank you!” ~Amy

No, Thank You!

Your comments are all so meaningful and important, and reinforce what motivated me to start FibroHaven over three years ago – the need for a positive voice and community for people living with fibromyalgia and related chronic illnesses. I am more committed than ever to be that voice and to grow our community. Thank you for inspiring me and recommitting me to my purpose, and to the purpose of FibroHaven.

So what’s next?

First, I am going to write a series of follow-up posts to the article. I have received many questions about my healing and recovery process, so I am going to take it step by step and share my journey – how I began, what was my mindset, what changes I made, when I began to see progress, what worked for me – what didn’t, how I experience FM now, etc.. We are each unique individuals, and we experience and process our symptoms differently, so my formula is my own, but we all share enough similarities in this condition that there is certain to be something in there to inform, inspire, and encourage you.

Second, I am going to be creating more group coaching opportunities. FibroHaven is my service, and life coaching is my career. Both are my passion, and I have combined the two with my local support group members – offering group coaching for members to come together and begin transforming their lives from a place of Self Care, Integrity, Love, Purpose, and Possibility. And now I am going to open this service up online so you do not need to be a member of my local group to work with me. Groups will range in size from 4-6 participants and are a affordable way to lower the cost of working with a life coach. It is also a great way to build a tremendous support network. If you are interested in learning more about group coaching or would like to reserve a spot, please send me a request and your information on my contact page form.

Third, I am going to continue working on one of the missions I have always had for FibroHaven – to open more support group chapters across the country. This will involve a lot of time, research, and effort to determine the best way to proceed, but I am committed to this cause so look for more info in the future about new chapters of FibroHaven.

Finally, I am going to continue to put my health and wellbeing first – which is exactly what the Woman’s Day article was about, which is exactly how I began to heal, and which is exactly what I will always recommend for each of you. I will continue to honor the times when I need to rest rather than write, when I need to practice yoga rather than work, when I need to have some quiet time rather than conversation. What you see here on FibroHaven is the very best of me, and I am committed to always delivering my best. To fulfill on this commitment, I must always and forever be committed to my health and wellbeing first. It is like that old airline cliche – I must secure my own oxygen mask first if I am going to be able to help others secure theirs.

Thank you FibroHaven community!

Thank you for taking this journey with me. Thank you for all the love, support, and camaraderie. Thank you for being an endless source of inspiration. Thank you for sharing your pains and speaking your truths. Thank you for trusting me with your hopes and desires. And most of all, thank you for being you!

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.

Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.

And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;

And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.

And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.

From Kahlil Giran’s The Prophet

Some of the miracles that have occurred since that day

• I am better
• I am a yoga instructor
• I have a huge network of likeminded friends to share, explore, love, learn, and laugh with
• I am in the April 2012 issue of Woman’s Day Magazine

That’s right – Woman’s Day Magazine!

Last November I received an email from the Health Director at Woman’s Day Magazine asking me if I would be interested in writing an essay for the magazine sharing how I came to terms with having fibromyalgia. In particular, she was drawn to my post, A Life of Essence, Not Illness, and asked if, from that perspective, I would like to contribute to the magazine. Would I? My entire platform for FibroHaven is to inspire and encourage. What better way to do that than in a national magazine?

And so the next miraculous journey began

Next I received the email that they would be sending a photographer and a hair and makeup artist to my house for a photo shoot. Seriously? The photo shoot turned out to be an amazing adventure. The instant I met photographer John Dolan I was completely at ease. We spent the day exploring, talking, laughing, and oh yeah – taking photos.

Sitting in front of his camera was a complete joy for me. A joy because I was fully present to the fact that it was truly not about me, but about the opportunity to share my journey of healing with a much larger audience than I currently reach with FibroHaven.

Today I am sitting here with an advance copy of the April issue of Woman’s Day. The issue will be on newsstands March 7th. If you open to page 5, the contents page, there I am. And again on page 122 along with my essay. I cannot express how surreal it is to open a magazine and see yourself in it – to know that your voice, your story, is going to be read by millions.

Divine Guidance

We all have a purpose. And often it is through trials, loss, and pain that our purpose is revealed. I know my illness and subsequent journey of healing is about so much more than me. My purpose is to use my words, my voice to inspire others to begin their own journeys of healing. I was guided to create FibroHaven, guided to share my story, guided to start my support groups, guided to become a life coach – and through all of that – Woman’s Day was guided to me and blessed me with this amazing opportunity.

Today is my day to be in complete appreciation

I appreciate everyone who has ever read this blog, commented on this blog, been touched by this blog, and shared this blog with your family and friends. I appreciate every person in my life who has loved and supported me along this journey, who has believed in me, hugged me gently, wiped my tears, acknowledged my pain, celebrated my successes, and loved me unconditionally. I appreciate Woman’s Day for seeing the value in one woman’s journey, and for sharing similar stories of inspiration for the past 75 years.

And I appreciate Me. I appreciate me for listening to that voice within that has been guiding me along my journey – the voice that says:

You are valuable

You are whole

You are strong

You are amazing

You are more than your illness

You are Love

I am.

And so are You!

Believe in today.

Believe that you are loved.

Believe that you make a difference.

Believe we can build a better world.

Believe when others might not.

Believe there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

Believe that you might be that light for someone else.

Believe that the best is yet to be.

Believe in each other.

Believe in yourself.

I believe in you.

~Kobi Yamada

Today I pulled an Angel card that told me “Time-out! You’ve been so busy taking care of everyone else’s needs, but now it’s time to stop and take care of yourself.” I love my angels! This was exactly the perfect card for me today. But why did it take a message from my angels for me to acknowledge and give in to my need for rest?

How often do you know you are in need of rest, but simply push through and ignore all the messages your body is sending you? How often do you look to the needs of others before you look to the needs of yourself? If there is one generalization I can safely make about the people I know living with chronic illness, we all do this – if not all of the time, a lot of the time.

What if this could be different? What would it make possible if we chose to put our needs first? In my case, putting my need to rest on the top of my “To Do” list today will enable me to take on the other things on my list in a completely new way.

I will have more focus and clarity when I sit down to write a blog post.

I will be more likely to cook a healthy meal rather than rely on something quick, easy, and less than good for me.

I will appreciate the energy and enthusiasm of my silly dog Koko, rather than get overwhelmed by her need for my attention.

I will recover enough to go to my favorite yoga class tomorrow, rather than having to miss it because I finally crashed.

Resting when we are first in need of it, rather than waiting until we are forced into rest because our bodies completely crash, can actually help break the “overwhelm into crash” cycle.

Being at peace with the decision to put oneself first is a practice. If you are not used to putting your own wellbeing first, you are likely to feel discomfort or guilt in doing so. But what if in doing so you enrich rather than deplete all the people and things you are currently putting before you own wellbeing?

What can you commit to today to begin placing your own wellbeing at the top of your “To Do” list? How can you begin to work this muscle? What are your angels telling you?

Let’s face it, there are moments, days, weeks even when we are in need of support and simply don’t ask. Something gets in our way – pride, fear, avoidance – so we suffer and struggle through on our own, likely prolonging our misery. And then to complicate our misery even more we grumble to ourselves and complain that no one understands, no one cares. Sound familiar?

I know for myself, one of the hardest things in this world for me to do is to ask for help. And yet I still wonder and get frustrated when I feel I am misunderstood. It is a vicious little circle that I create for myself. I start with “Nothing to see here. No, I don’t need help, I am fine, I can manage this all on my own.” And then immediately jump to “Am I invisible? Can’t you see how I am suffering? You must not know me at all if you cannot see I am in need here.” Thus creating the perfect Lose/Lose scenario. No one wins, least of all me.

Breaking the Cycle

I see this cycle repeated often in my yoga classes. As a new teacher I learn more and more each day to listen to the silent language of body cues. Especially in my Restorative Yoga classes where students hold poses for long periods of time. I always state a few times for emphasis that I am their guide, but their body is their teacher, and if a posture doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. And if your body is signaling you that it wants to move, move. And if you feel like you need more props to support you, just signal me and I will bring them to you. Then we begin our practice, and it happens almost every time – I can see someone is uncomfortable and rather than do what is needed to find comfort, they try to struggle through it.

In yoga we always encourage finding the fine line between effort and ease and resting there. Rest is especially emphasized in Restorative Yoga – maximum benefits with minimal effort. So I allow each student the time to find their line before checking in with them. But if I see painful winces, and scrunched up noses, I immediately approach my students to support them in finding the right posture for their needs. Once their needs have been met, whether it is a change in how they are laying, or an extra prop for comfort, they let out a deep breath and relax into the posture. Often it takes persistence on my part for the student to accept the support I am trying to give them.

Even Yogis Have a Hard Time Asking for Help

They don’t want to bring attention to their discomfort – Don’t come over here and bring attention to me. Let’s just get through this.  

They don’t want to be a nuisance – I’m fine, I’m fine. I don’t need anything. Nothing to see here.

They don’t want to stand out or be different – Why can everyone else do it but not me? Everyone else is relaxing into it, why can’t I?

They think it is a matter of right or wrong – If I can’t do it there must be something wrong with me. Everyone else is doing it just fine. What’s wrong with me? Maybe I don’t belong here.

They think I don’t understand – No one understands this pain I am in. There is no point trying to explain it because you just won’t get it.

They think a certain amount of pain is normal and acceptable – I have had this pain in my hip forever. It always hurts and I just live with it. It is what it is.

It is easy for me to get into my student’s heads and understand the inner dialog, because that was me, not too long ago. If I cannot ask for help in my life, dealing every day with the unpredictable nature of chronic illness, how can I ever be expected to ask for help in a yoga class? The first step is in getting out of my head (see inner dialogue above) and opening myself up to the possibility that asking for and allowing support brings.

Taking the First Step

Like any other attitude or skill we want to develop, it starts with practice. Learning to ask for help – and then allowing that help into our lives (another skill altogether worthy of its own blog post) – is something we need to work at. And like everything else we take on, I say start small – baby steps. What is one thing you can ask for support with today? Don’t wait until tomorrow. Look at today. Pick something small. Ease yourself into it.

I can hear many of you protesting – again, inner dialog I understand because I have had the same conversations in my head many times – and I know you all have valid reasons for your protests. Primarily they are based in fear. I am encouraging you to be bold in the face of fear. What would it mean for your life if you asked for and received support when you need it? What would that make possible for you? A little comfort maybe? A little ease? Is that something you want more of in your life? If so, don’t be afraid to ask.