Many warm wishes for your good health,
Cinda Crawford, host of the show & former Fibro CFS sufferer for 15 years!

PS- I noticed that you welcomed one commenter’s response on a program she had to offer. Here’s something aimed at helping Fibromyalgia folks. I just finished this membership course & it’s ready to go at- http://www.getwellhealth.com/learn

The online meditation course I instruct is called Finding Peace and it is based on The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying. It is offered through the Rigpa Distance Learning Program, which you can find at rigpaus.net/ I believe the next round of courses will start in September (not sure about the summer).

There are many different approaches to meditation and there are a number of online courses offered these days. Here are two other possible options for you.
http://www.shambhalaonline.org/
goodlifezen.com (virtual retreats)

You can probably find others too through a search.

Thanks for your great work here at Fibro Haven, I really love the direction you are going.

Great point about the chemical sensitivities. It is a real and growing issue. I myself am just beginning to understand the connection. This road to wellness is a long journey, with many offshoots and hazards.

I appreciate the work you are doing at Always Well Within – inspiring healthy and authentic living. You encourage me!

Dr. G

I have enjoyed our exchange, and I wish you continued growth. Thanks for all your kind words.

Mindy, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and it literally took me YEARS to recognize that I was reacting to environmental chemicals. Yes, the pain was triggered by environmental chemicals (and foods). I always wonder how many people’s flares may be triggered by environmental chemicals, which are ubiquitous and they may never know. It may be something to consider.

I’ve recently started the Amygdala Retraining Program for chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia, which I find absolutely brilliant. It may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but it is proving very valuable for me and I’ve written about it on my blog.

Best wishes to both of you.

I realized after I posted that Memorial Day is the 6th anniversary of my first really bad flare – 18 months before I actually was diagnosed – and I was stressing today over whether I was going to be able to handle some must-do appointments this week, then a Memorial Day gathering with close friends, followed a couple days later by a birthday dinner for my best friend. Apparently I was even more frustrated than I thought. Sometimes it sneaks up despite the meditation.

As for the length of the post: I’ve been wondering lately if I should start blogging or at least journaling. As a former professional journalist who had to give it up, it’s both appealing and painful for me. Plus, I never liked writing about myself in my previous life. But maybe this was the universe trying to tell me that it would be helpful.

And maybe the lesson I still need to learn is to not feel like I failed when things flare up. My husband says I apologize too much and I’ve been trying to let that go. There are some complicated childhood issues involved, but I’ve always been good at being responsible for myself, doing the “right” thing etc. so not being in control of what I can and can’t do is the ultimate frustration. I think deep down – sometimes not so deep – I believe that if I just exert enough self-control or discipline, I can fix this. That’s always worked before.

Another lesson perhaps – stop believing in a magic formula that will make everything alright if I just follow it correctly.

Again, thanks for your kindness and thoughtfulness. I’ll feel lucky if in another 8 years I’ve “grown up” to be as patient, open and accepting as you.

I am on year 14 of this do-all-the-right-things-only-to-be-grounded-again-and-again-by-flares journey. I totally get every point you made.

First I want to say, sometimes it does come down to “what did I do wrong.” Sometimes our actions are directly responsible for a flare, but then I think you already know this. But when it comes to the times when we do everything within our powers, and we still flare – we still FAIL at being healthy – do not agonize over what you did wrong. None of us know exactly the mechanisms in our body that fail us and cause us to suffer so inexplicably at times. You are not to blame, and in my mind these times are not a personal failure. A setback, most definitely. A source of frustration and anger, yes – but a personal failure – not by my definition.

My lack of follow-through was a personal failure, one that I felt I needed to examine more closely. I failed because it is something I truly want, and it is in my power to attain, and yet it did not happen. I truly want to be completely healed too, but it is not within my power to understand the neurological failure in my body, so when I know I have done the best for myself, and I still suffer, I try acceptance rather than blame. Sometimes I fail at this too! This is why everything that you wrote felt oh so familiar to me.

So I guess it really comes down to your interpretation of failure. I do believe that every failure is an opportunity. It appears I failed at being clear in my post, but my failure led to you writing a thoughtful and sincere post, which encouraged me to reconsider what I wrote. So there is my lesson. Language matters. What I write can be interpreted in many ways, and we all read through a personal filter of our own experiences. I should consider this when I write.

As for all the excellent and worthy questions you asked – if only I had the answer! That is basically what this blog is for me. My journey to find the answers for myself. I share in the hopes that something I write may encourage or inspire someone else. I also really enjoy when someone like yourself causes me to think. I wish I had something insightful and encouraging to say. I can only say that judging you solely by your comment, you are closer to healing than so many others I encounter. You are thoughtful, self-analyzing, and self-aware. These are powerful attributes to have. Don’t give up. Don’t give in. Just be kind to yourself and continue to do your best. What more can we ask of ourselves?