Leave a Comment, You May Make a New Friend
When I began my blog last October it was most definitely a selfish endeavor. I wanted (and needed) a space of my own to vent, process, absorb and share what my life with Fibromyalgia is all about. Since the birth of my blog, I have had a personal awakening and now understand that I am so much more than what Fibromyalgia has taken away from me. Writing about my experiences has given me back the control that I let FM take away from me so many years ago. I have become more accepting of how my life has changed and more hopeful for what my future holds.
The best part of my blog though has been the connections I have made with people who also struggle with Fibromyalgia and other chronic illnesses. It brings me joy when someone takes the time to leave a comment because something I wrote spoke to them, or when someone adds Fibromyalgia Haven to the blog roll on their own site as a recommendation to their readers. Recently I discovered a new blog because of the link she created by adding me to her blog roll. I wanted to share with you her latest post and introduce you to the brave woman and talented artist Kellie Robinson.
Here is a excerpt from her post and an example of her art:
About a decade ago, when I first found I was addicted to polymer clay, I fell in love with doing filigree work. I discovered eventually I could blend my clay colors as I was extruding them, and I became even more entranced.
Shortly after this, I became a victim of a violent crime. I was at work, and a guy put a gun up to my head while he robbed us. I immediately had a severe post traumatic stress attack. I couldn’t leave my house or go anywhere by myself, and work was out of the question. I sat around and thought about the incident over and over. My husband had to drive me to therapy appointments, because I thought I saw this guys car every time I got behind the wheel. After a week or two I eventually turned to my clay and my new discovery. For almost a month, I worked on these beads. While working on the beads, I just blocked everything out, and would get so caught up in them that I forgot to think about the armed robbery. That is just the way it is whenever I do the filigree work. They really did help me to heal. The beads are quite large, I really never meant to wear it. It was meant as an art piece, even though I didn’t consider myself to be an artist at that time. A friend talked me into submitting them to a magazine, Jewelry Crafts, and to my amazement, they published the piece, with my instructions.I ended up developing fibromyalgia shortly after the armed robbery (there is a connection!) and over the years, my clay went on the back burner. I spent the last 3 yrs trying to work full time at the bead store, and that didn’t really leave me much energy for my clay. I was still teaching polymer clay, but rarely brought the clay out just for myself. About a year ago, I decided I wanted to try some filigree again. I remembered how therapeutic it was, sitting and coiling the strands of clay, gently making precise cuts so everything fit together like a glove. I don’t know how to explain it, other then it’s almost like a trance-like state.
I was so touched by Kellie’s post and the telling of her traumatic experience, which developed into Fibromyalgia. If she had not created the link between our two worlds I may never have heard her story or seen her beautiful wearable art. Aren’t her beads amazing! Kellie’s description of the therapeutic “trance-like” state she goes into when creating them is the reason I think art exists. It is an outlet, an expression, and a gift. I wanted to share Kellie’s gift with you and also share the comment she left me after I left one to her:
fibrohaven, I have to tell you I had mixed feelings about posting this blog. I really thought my artsy friends would have no interest in my health problems. I thought about it for over a month before I finally posted it.
I am very new to blogging, and don’t at all understand how you found my post, but I am so glad you did. of all the posts I might possibly get, I can promise you that yours will mean the most to me. I found your blog about a month or so ago, and have found it to be the most up to date, SMARTEST, no bullshit info on fibromyalgia. I wish everyone in my life read your blog. I have been devouring your blog! it’s not just the info on your blog, but the artistic element I find there…it speaks to me.
Reading her comment was most certainly one of my defining moments since beginning my blog. It may seem self-serving that I am sharing it with you, but I do not mean it to be. Instead I mean to show the power of sharing and connecting. The connection Kellie made has been meaningful to both of us. By sharing my life and my story Kellie learned she is not alone in her struggles, and by sharing with me how reading my blog has affected her, I have learned that my voice has purpose and that my story is meaningful. Is there a greater gift then that?
I am so proud of you Kellie for being brave enough to share your truth, even though you worried that your friends may not understand or be interested. I hope they surprised you with their compassion and understanding. And now you can count me among your friends. I do care, and I do understand. Thank you so much for connecting our two worlds. I hope your story will inspire others to do the same.
P.S. And you most definitely are an artist!
Thank you for sharing your story and others. I find it very helpful to listen or share with others this hell that they call FM!
-nina
what a sweet story – I started my blog about fibro for much the same reason you did. Twitter has also been a great place to meet other fibromytes/chronic illness sufferers for me. So glad that you both found something through blogging about this syndrome, that’s what it’s all about!
Wow, this post, it’s meaning and content, are so powerful and so deeply connected to my own feelings and experiences as well. . .
Kellie’s artwork is amazing and her ability to share her traumatic experience and development of Fibromyalgia is also inspiring.
I find I have so much in common with you both, just from reading this post. The human spirit is so interconnected, we are all individuals, but I do believe we are also each others family, if we allow ourselves to be. We are meant to love, nurture and support each other through life.
Every single response I get on my blog, and there really aren’t that many since it is pretty new and all, but regardless, each response has touched my heart and been important to me, really important. The comments inspire me to keep sharing. They inspire me to be better. And they connect us.
Sharing my story or stories is a huge focus of mine right now, not to be self-serving, (although it must be to some degree) but to let others know they are not alone with depression, fibromyalgia, post traumatic stress disorder, anxiety and the like. From an amazing book I recently read, called “When I Lay My Isaac Down: Unshakable Faith in Unthinkable Circumstances” by Carol Kent: “There is a common ground of understanding, forgiveness, acceptance, and healing when we are authentic with each other. When we tell our real-life stories of what we have encountered on the journey of life, we break down barriers and create safe places to risk revealing the truth. Intimacy in our relationships springs to life when we are no longer hiding behind the mask of denial, embarrassment, guilt or shame.”
This process of sharing our stories becomes a way to weave our lives together, it is a gift!
I also quickly have to say, that I too, have found peace in art, although my medium is watercolors for now. I would not call myself an artist, but is certainly is therapeutic and good for my soul. I just recently added pictures of some of my “work” to a blog post called “Art Therapy”, if you want to look, for fun.
Thank you so much for sharing this post, and thank you to Kellie for the connection she made with you. I hope to read her blog and leave a much shorter comment!
Well wishes to you!
Amy (Abeeliever)
Just want to put my hand up and say “Hi” and that I too benefit from all of you telling your stories, which in turn gives me the confidence to write my own journal – I’d gone through thoughts that it was self-indulgent, nobody would be interested, etc. I’ve learned that those are not the issues, so I’m increasing my own blogging again, as a therapy because of my fibromyalgia and lots of related issues, because it helps me, I can hope it may also help someone else one day.
I am really so moved and honored by this blog. I started my blog about 18 months ago, and really just didn’t know what to say. I guess I thought it should only be about my art and that I shouldn’t mention fibro, or ptsd, or therapy. And this thought froze me up. I couldn’t write about myself and my art and not mention these other things. They are all connected, interwoven into the person I have become. That is why I hesitated for so long about writing the blog post, I knew I couldn’t talk about these beads without talking about all the other stuff. It was a great trauma that lead to me making the beads in the first place. Something inside me kept saying “your artist friends really don’t want to hear this”.
Your blog post, and your guestbook entries made me have a revelation last night. There is nothing wrong with me talking about my art and my illness all at the same time. It’s who I am for goodness sake! Okay, sure, maybe some of my artist friends might decide they really don’t want to read my blog, and if that is the case, well, then that is just fine. Others will read it and understand. Connections will be made, as they already have been made!
thank you so very much!
kellie
I’ve been sitting here with tears rolling down my face as I read all of these beautiful words about Kellie. Not only is she a very passionate artist, she is extremely loving and funny. I can say this because I have known her all of my life….she is my big sister. We were all of course very saddened to hear of her diagosis of fibro, but also very confused because there just isn’t that much information about it. Kellie has really educated us about it. Keep up your chin and the beautiful bead work Pee Poo. I love you!
Well, let me tell you all…… it is real easy for me to be the great big sister to a little Sister who is so strong, intelligent, caring and lovable. I am the one who is blessed to have some I am so proud to say is my little Sister, this strong woman who is a survivor and who has stepped up to make a difference. Yes, Sis you have made a difference. People like you make a difference in this world. So you stand on your soap box and shout as loud as you need to for people to hear you and finally get it. So you go girl. LOVE YA The Proud Big Sis
Its good to find more Fibro peeps out in the real world. I just wanted to ask what you are doing for National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day?
I am quite busy contacting media, representatives of Texas, news sources, etc. We are planning a huge cross Dallas awareness. What are you doing?
I really appreciate the openness that you all have shared here on Dannette’s blog. Makes me want to start my own as I believe journaling, gets a lot out . It takes a lot to be so candid and share openly like that, at least for me it does as I am a private person and more apt to listen than share. I feel safe here so I share plus, I know Dannette personally and she is a good egg.
I have been through a lot in my little life and I really do not know the date of when my FM all started. It could have started as a young teenager when my Mom was going through a abusive marriage for years. My father too took the easier road, after divorcing my mother by never being there and taking care of himself rather than his 2 children. So, sure I think there’s a connection there. Thats a lot of stress too and what does stress do to us? We all know that question. As I have grown older and hopefully wiser, I realize none of this was my fault but regardless, I had to experience it. Experience has made me a better person, Mother, wife and daughter and you know you grow from all these things life throws at you or you at least try. I have struggled trying to understand WHY these things happen. I am spiritual and I ask God, what am I supposed to learn from these things? I try to stay receptive and listen to what God may be telling me. I have had PTSD, may have some of that remaining and I did EMDR and hypnosis and I think it helped me, along with many months of therapy trying to wrap my head around what happened to my son and family.
In short, I think it would be wise to say, there is a connection with stress, PTSD, trauma and illness. just my 2 cents.
I love this! I too found that in a support group I was running that so many–when we decided to just do something found we all were better–by renewing our favorite or past hobbies/crafts etc.
For me it is pictures. After all what are pictures? They are for me a visual of times/people or places that was so impressive we took the photo shot! I found mine by accident-literally. I fell out of my bed at that time bedridden. laying crying and tried to use the night stand to assist in getting me off the floor. Knocked it over-of course–but also tumbled several photos to the floor. The first was a picture that is one of those that just makes one smile or laugh out loud every time I see it–because I relive-/hear the giggles from then my baby sister-about 3 with numerous kittens all over her–on her head-clinging to her pants/sweatshirt etc and a smile that speaks volumes–well then a few more came up and before I knew it I was rolling with laughter and had stood up and had walked down the stairs and from that day forward–I use photos to heal myself–remove pain. I have had more than my share of surgeries and use it in place of drugs. Told the group and they all started looking for”their own” laughter/joy zone. Some craft-others cook other–well we all started benefiting from my fall. It is one of God’s free gifts that heal.
Later many years later–I read in the FM Network’s newsletter that science had proven that the human brain is incapable of experiencing 2 strong signals at one time for any length of time/prolonged time. Laughter trumps pain–why I do NOT know–nor do I care–just happy as all get out that it does!
I love the positiveness of this site! Great job/place!
Thanks Nina. I know you are on Twitter, but do you have a blog as well?
Nicole I just finished visiting your blog and OMG your dog is so cute! I love that you got her to add structure to your days. Your honesty cracked me up. I do not know the details, but people with FM do qualify for assistance dogs. You are putting a whole new spin on that concept. If she gets you out of bed in the morning and adds purpose to your day then good for you, and I am sure she will provide you with a lot of love in return.
Thanks for adding me to your blog roll. I must put my own together soon!
Nicole thank you so much for your thoughtful and sincere comment. There is a lot to absorb in what you said and I think I will need to read it a few times to take it all in.
I enjoy your blog very much. There is a lot of truth and beauty in everything you write. And I think what we do is a little self-serving and that is all right. It has enabled us to find kindred souls to share with. I am not going to ramble on any more because you said it all so beautifully in your comment.
I am going to check out your watercolors right now!
Oh, Amy K, thank you so much for your comment! I cried last night when I read it, and I cried again this morning. “Intimacy in our relationships springs to life when we are no longer hiding behind the mask of denial, embarrassment, guilt or shame.”
As I mentioned to FibroHaven, her blog and your post has really brought me to understand that I have NOTHING to be ashamed of! I didn’t ask for or deserve fibro or PTSD, but I have them, and they have affected my life and are just a part of who I am, period. Why in the world should I think I can’t write about it in conjunction with my art? These things are part of my art, always have been. I actually have had PTSD and depression since I was about 5, but it wasn’t diagnosed until the armed robbery 10 yrs ago. The only outlet I had for my emotions my whole life was in my creativity and in the love I had with my pets. I went into intensive therapy about 5-6 yrs ago after I had another severe PTSD episode. I was in therapy for 2 1/2 years and have healed so much. That healing actually helped improve all my fibro symptoms. I still have fibro, and I still suffer greatly, but nothing compared to like what it was in the beginning. I think the stress I was under had me in a constant flare for the first years after I got sick. I really didn’t understand what a flare meant, until after I started healing and started experiencing really good days.
I started reading your blog last night and I plan on reading every word. Thank you for taking time to comment, I know another connection has been made!
kellie
Pamela you said it perfectly. Blogging, journaling, poetry, diaries – how every you choose to express yourself, you are going to benefit the most. We all deserve and need an outlet. If my blog had only ever benefited me, that would be enough, but sometimes something we share might actually make a difference in someone else’s life. I am very happy you are encouraged to blog again.
When I first went to your blog Kellie and saw your beads and necklaces I had a strong emotional reaction. Something about them just gave me a sense of peace and tranquility. I could feel the emotion and care that went into making them.
I somehow knew that I needed to share them and introduce you on my blog. I am so happy that I did, and so grateful for your comment and sharing with us the revelation you had. You are your art, and your art is beautiful!
Just look back over all the comments so far and there is all the proof you need about the power of the connections YOU made by linking to my blog. Thank you Kellie!
Lara I love your comment! I too have a loving and supportive sister – my big sis. She has been my biggest advocate when dealing with Fibromyalgia. I am happy to know that Kellie has an awesome sister too. Thanks for sharing.
I love you too Lara!
If I didn’t have such a great support system I could not be so strong. Thanks for everything sis! Love You.
Hi Shelley! It sounds like you are going to have an amazing event. How long did it take you to plan for/organize it? Thanks for reaching out to me here.
Since my group is only a few months old I did not have the time or help to prepare a big event, but we are going to have a family & friend awareness social. I will be inviting past presenters and sponsors. Members can bring anyone who supports them or who they would like to educate about FM. Basically we are having a picnic! I hope it turns out.
Clarissa I am going to help in any way you need to get your blog up and running. I am so honored that you said you feel safe here. That is so important to me, and I know you will create the same environment on your own blog.
One of my greatest moments with the support group was when our presenter Paul turned to you and expressed how he was drawn to your energy and spirit. That is how I felt about you too when I first met you and I think you need to share your spirit through your writing. It will benefit you and everyone who reads you!
Thank you for sharing. You are wise and I am so happy to call you a friend!