How My Fibromyalgia Got Superpowers!
The continuation of The Many Triggers of Fibromyalgia. “Life was good. But then my Fibromyalgia got superpowers! Dunt, dunt, duhn!!! To be continued…”
Can Fibromyalgia have superpowers, or does it only feel that way? I am not sure, but on the morning of September 27, 2006, my Fibromyalgia intensified to a level I did not think was possible.
I was driving to one of my sales accounts that was nearly two hours away. It was one of my least favorite accounts because of the distance, and because they were very high maintenance but very low volume. So I was already in a mood when the traffic on the freeway slowed suddenly from a comfortable 70 MPH to an irritating 20 MPH – you know, one of those congestions in traffic that occur for no apparent reason, and let up again as quickly as they began. After years of driving San Diego County to call on my accounts I had become a very conscientious driver. I am convinced you see the worst of human nature on the roads. People get ugly when they get behind the wheel. On this morning I began slowing with the traffic and kept a good distance between me and the car ahead of me. I was going 20 MPH max, probably less, when I looked in my rear-view mirror and saw a giant green beast flying up behind me. I didn’t even have time to think “Oh shit!” before the truck slammed into the back of me and sent my car flying off into the center median. Fortunately the median between the north and south lanes of traffic was big and grassy, and my car ended up there instead of in the back end of the vehicle in front of me.
I sat stunned, with my eyes closed and my head spinning. It felt like someone had injected a gallon of nauseous fluid into my brain and if I moved or opened my mouth it would all come spilling out. I think I was holding my breath because all of a sudden my body forced me to take a huge gulp of air which quieted the nausea a little. I could hear the young boy who hit me standing at the driver’s side window, knocking and asking me if I was okay. He kept saying “ma’am, ma’am, ma’am,” and I could hear the anxiety in his voice. I finally opened my eyes and turned to him just to put his mind at ease, but my brain still felt like it was swimming in that nauseous liquid.
I ended up in emergency again, this time with severe whiplash and a concussion. Again I was looking at another long road to recovery. I kept thinking how lucky and grateful I was that I had not suffered any broken bones or more serious injuries, but I had no idea the extent of the injuries to my brain and how this accident would change my Fibromyalgia from a relatively mild and livable case into an extreme superpower! So what does Fibromyalgia with superpowers look like you ask? Putting the brain trauma aside for now, I will just describe to you the changes in my FM.
Pain! Oh I thought I knew pain. I thought the pain and flare-ups I had experienced over the 10 years I had been living with FM was the most my body and mind could ever possibly manage, but I was wrong. You know that scale the doctors have, when they ask you to rate your pain from 1 to 10, with 10 being the most pain you have ever been in? Well I had not so infrequently expressed my pain as severe as an 8 or a 9 in reference to one of my many recurring flare-ups. But what was an 8 or a 9 before the accident was now a 5 or 6. My new 8-9 kicked the old 8-9’s butt. My new pain scale was re-calibrated to the kind of intense, burning, stabbing, aching, nauseating, unrelenting pain that makes you think if it doesn’t let up soon you will surely lose your mind or do something drastic to make it stop. It was the kind of pain that found me curled up on the bathroom floor in misery while my husband looked on unable to even touch me to help me get up. It was not a nice pain!
But my FM superpowers did not stop at my ability to feel pain at an unimaginable level. They also awakened my senses to sounds, smells and bold-vibrant colors. I have excellent hearing – superb is how my ENT described it – which should be an asset right? Well with my FM superpowers, my previously enjoyable ability to hear the many nuances in the world around me, became a detriment in that now I felt like I was constantly being yelled out. The TV, radio, if my dogs barked, when the alarm went off – any loud abrupt noise was like a full-fisted slug to the back of my head and a green light for my pain to shoot up on the pain scale. Intense smells and bold colors had the same physical affect on me. Sensory overload with a punch to the face for good measure!
And lets talk about the weather shall we. Before the accident I had heat sensitivity, but only to extreme heat, and no sensitivity to the cold. But with my new FM superpowers, my body responded to changes in temperature like a delicate flower. Anything above 85 degrees and my pain left me wilted and useless, and anything below 65 degrees my body was tense and knotted with pain. So now I am equipped with a handy dandy, built-in weather device. I can sense the slightest change in temperature and tell you the degree based on my pain level. How handy is that!
I could go on and talk about the fatigue and the sleep deprivation and my complete inability to formulate an intelligent sentence, but I think you get my point. So that is how my Fibromyalgia got its superpowers, and this is my new and current reality. My Fibromyalgia is everything it had been to the power of ten – with several new symptoms thrown in for variety and superpower affect. They do not come with a cape, or an invisible airplane, or any of the cool accessories you might expect for a superpower. But if I were to narrate and chronicle them into a comic book, they would look something like this -
Comic Fight Club
Just a glimpse into my internal fight club if I were to illustrate my Fibromyalgia symptoms. I am currently taking bets that I am eventually going to kick all their butts if anyone is interested.
Since I know you so well I know to always bet with you never against you. I also know if anyone can kick anyone’s butt it would be my baby Sis (once a wise man called you “Holyfield”) inside joke ha ha
Reading your story about your accident brought back bad memories for me and I know for you. That was just awful. I know that day changed your life. But I know how strong and stubborn you are so you continue on a daily basis to fight the fight. Hang in there, I am very hopeful all these new things you are trying will make the difference in your life. I LOVE YOU
Just when I thought Fibromyalgia was bad, I got diagnosed with Dysautonomia. Sigh. I need your fighters to come kick its ass. Hope you are doing ok Fibrohaven!
Flashbacks! If I hadn’t lived a very similar story I would wonder at its veracity. But I know better! Bringing your story to light will help illuminate the path of understanding for a lot of others, thank you for sharing it with us.
Hi That was a really good story as to how your FM started and how you have to deal with it intensafying as time goes by, i hope you are able to keep going, and thank you for sharing.
finally, i read something that i can definately relate to. mine started with a bad auto accident, followed by 30 ortho surgeries, with more to come. even though i was lucky enough to find an excellent physician who’s main goal is to keep me pain free and active, i still get my but kicked on occasion when i have mean flareups. sometimes it even hurts my scalp to wash my hair. i still do everything in my power to stay active, but for every good day i have that i can be “overly active”, i am in pain for the next three days afterward. fibromyalgia REQUIRES a fight mentality. my senses are in overdrive, sight, smell, hearing, touch, taste, and even the”sixth sense” thing, which can be a little unsettling. fibromyalgia has made me a stronger person, but whoa! what a price to pay for enlightenment!
Toni, what you are saying about your senses is so true. It can be overwhelming. It is interesting how many people I connect with that have FM tend to also be empaths – incredibly tuned in to the people around them and their energies and emotions. But that can be incredibly draining even without the complications of FM.
Your physician does sound excellent! I wish you the best of luck for your future surgeries and hope that your symptoms improve. With your spirit they are bound to. My Best!
Hi there, I am new to fibromyalgia and I’m yet to receive a full diagnosis. At present it is a term that my GP is banding around.
Mainly the pain has been effecting me and it started in June 09 when I was in a car accident- I have only got worse since this time.
I feel in limbo at present waiting to be labelled and given a direction- yet I am scared of what fibromyalgia may come to mean to me.
I am pleased to read your story/ies and your accounts of fibromyalgia and what it means to you.
Neleh. UK.
As a fellow language lover, I enjoyed the voice in your fibrotale. I am a high school English teacher currently struggling with all of this fibrofun. I am also the mother of a pretty little 7 month old baby girl. Wow. I’m having a pretty difficult time right now, and mine sounds so mild in comparison! I’m so sorry you have to go through this. It’s really sometimes overwhelming. Hang in there…
Hello to all, I have FM and have been trying to understand its triggers for over 8 years. Flare-ups happen every other week and are so debilitating. Some days I just laze around reading cause my body just hurts too much all over, yet on a good day there is no stopping me. I look forward to my good days as they help me cope with the bad.
I forgot all about Holyfield! Too funny.
Yes, reliving the accident was painful. I think that was why it took me so long to write this post. My life has been completely upside down since that day. But there is some good to come from it. I probably would never have started this blog or my support group if it had not been for the accident. And because I am on such a quest now, I think eventually I will feel better than I did before the accident. I had learned to live with and accepted living in pain for so many years, but now I am OVER IT! No more pain!
Thanks again for all your love and support. I am so lucky!
Wow – Dysautonomia! That is a mouthful. I took a look at your post on it – there is a symptom for every letter in the word. I am glad you were so diligent that you finally got the correct diagnosis. I would gladly send my fighters to you! I wish you the best in learning how to live with it. I know you are a fighter. FH
I understand Karla. Sometimes the symptoms are all so illogical it is hard to accept the reality. Even with my support group, sometimes I sit and listen to their stories and wonder how can a person suffer so much and not be insane!. My blog helps keep me sane. I appreciate having the format to share, and I appreciate everyone who visits. Thanks for your comments Karla. FH